University Life's Gonna Be Insane
by casgetoutofmyassbutt
Summary: Sequel: Summer Heat: Castiel asked Dean to come with him to California where he was going to college. I has been two months since the summer of a life time and Castiel hasn't heard an answer from Dean. When Dean says he has a surprise for Castiel, Castiel had no idea what it could be. Little did he know that Dean was there to stay and their relationship was the world to him.
1. It's Lonely Here Without You

**Hey guys! this is the first chapter to the sequel to Summer Heat's Gonna Drive You Crazy. If you haven't already read that story, please go to it and catch up! Thank you always for following this series and I hope there is more to come. Tell me what you think of this sequel in the reviews! Thanks!**

Castiel stared at his calendar. He stared at it for a long time. He counted the days since he last saw Dean. When he asked Dean to come with him to California. _Will you come with me? _ Those words seemed too simple to Castiel, but he knew Dean thought the opposite. It was irrational; to pick up everything and move across country with someone who had just recently broke Dean's heart. Castiel sighed, looking away from his calendar and back to his homework at his desk. It was only a matter of time before Dean gave Castiel his answer. Castiel was just wondering how long it would take. It was already two months into the semester. No answer from Dean. Sure there had been calls everyday at around the same time when Dean got off work. There were lots of "ten times more" sayings and the occasional "I miss you," but Dean never gave his answer. Castiel sighed, leaning back in his desk chair. He forgot about his paper for the moment and agonized the minutes passing with Dean not there with him.

"What's going on, lover boy?" Came an unusual mixed english accent from across the room. "Has your imaginary boy not called yet?" Castiel turned around and glared at his roommate, an international student named Balthazar Roché, or Balt as some called him around campus.

"He's not imaginary. His name is Dean." Castiel wasn't fond of his roommate. Balthazar was an outgoing person who wore too low of a V-neck. Castiel huffed and cross his arms over his chest, turning back to his paper that was due the following week.

"If's he's got a name, doesn't make him any less imaginary." Balthazar chuckled. "Do you even have a picture of this guy?" Balthazar stood up and walked over to Castiel, peering over his shoulder. "Picture, or he doesn't exist." Balthazar clapped his hands on Castiel's shoulders. Castiel shrugged him off.

"I don't have one of him." He frowned. When Castiel had left for home after Dean's injury, he had deleted all traces of Dean. He had regained Dean's phone number, only because Dean insisted that Castiel turn his phone back on so that he could get a hold of him.

Balthazar stood back and laughed. "Well, darling. I need to get you out of this room and out on the town. I heard there was a killer club-"

"No thank you." Castiel let his roommate down with ease. "I have all of this homework to do." He motioned to the books on his desk and the document pulled up on his laptop.

"It's Friday, Cassie." Balthazar whined. "You can do that all on Sunday."

"Please don't call me that." Castiel grumbled.

"Well, I can't call you Cas, and now I can't call you Cassie. What can I call you?"

"Castiel."

"Sounds too biblical." Balthazar rolled his eyes. He went back to sit on his side of the room on his bed. "But I can't say much about my own name. Our parent's must have been crazies." Balthazar flopped down on his bed and cross his arms behind his head. "But honestly, we need to do something this weekend. Do you even have any other friends? Other than me, that is." Balthazar grinned, winking at Castiel. Castiel leaned over the back of his chair and stared at his roommate.

"I have friends." Castiel retorted. He had Jo, and Charlie and Gabriel was his brother, but Castiel still considered him probably his closest friend. Dean was his boyfriend, so there's another one. Castiel liked to think he was making friends on campus, but Balthazar was right. Castiel was only friends with his roommate. There was the one girl in his general education, English class that he would like to call a friend. Though, he was pretty sure she didn't know his name, as she kept calling him Clarence.

"Right." Balthazar fanned himself. "We can go to the beach. It's nice out today, not too windy." Balthazar hung his legs over the side of his bed and hopped down. "How about it?" After receiving silence from Castiel, Balthazar groaned. "You can't just sit there and wait for that phone to ring."

"I can and I will." Castiel replied, looking at his phone placed on the edge of his desk. Dean called at the same time, right after work. It was nearing then. Castiel counted the minutes. Five past four o' clock was when his phone would ring. The three-hour difference was harsh between the east and west coast. Dean worked all day to busy himself. He would then be tired so the length of their phone conversation would be cut off when it hit around ten o'clock Dean's time, compared to seven o'clock Castiel's time.

A few more minutes past four and right on queue, Castiel's phone started to buzz, playing one of Dean's favorite Kansas songs, Carry on Wayward Son. Castiel quickly grabbed his phone and left the room. "I miss you." Castiel automatically said, shutting the door to his room behind him after hearing Balthazar shout that he still didn't believe Dean existed.

_"Hey, babe."_ Dean answered._ "I miss you too. How was your day?"_ Castiel could hear how tired Dean was. He heard Dean groan over the phone as he most likely sat down for the first time that day.

"Uneventful." Castiel answered. He traveled down the hall, pacing back and forth between the lounge and his own room. "Did you work again today?" Castiel didn't know why he had asked. The answer was always the same.

_"Yeah. You know, working on cars and such." _Dean chuckled into the phone. _"But listen. I have to go, I promised Sam I would take him and this chick he likes to the movies. Can't let my little brother down. I can call you later, though." _

Castiel frowned, stopping the in the hall. He leaned against the white washed wall. "Okay, yeah." He was disappointed that he couldn't talk to Dean longer, but knew that, to Dean, family always came first. "You don't have to call if you're tired. I know you work hard." Castiel felt his hands tremble while holding his phone up to his ear.

_"Cas, don't be like this."_ Dean sighed into the phone. Some things fumbled around, like wind rushing across the speaker. _"I'll call you later, okay?"_

"Okay." Castiel complied. "Talk to you later, Dean."

_"Ten times more, babe." _

Castiel smiled to himself, turning on his feet, heading back to his room, slightly happier. "A hundred times more." He responded before ending the call and walking back into his room. His face was red with blush and when his roommate saw him, he laughed.

"I really need to listen to this guy's voice if you make a face like that every time you're off the phone with him." Balthazar was lying back on his bed again, kicking his feet into the air. "So how about that beach?" He looked up, hoping Castiel would change his mind. "Please?"

Castiel sat down at his desk, resuming his homework. "Maybe some other time." Castiel looked up at his calendar again. His and Dean's four-month anniversary was coming up soon. Castiel kept track of the little things like that. They kept his mind at ease when Dean wasn't around to distract him. After about an hour of silence in the room and Balthazar leaving for food, Castiel heard his phone beep, signaling a text. He opened it.

From 'Dean.'

_So what's your address? I want to send you something in the mail. D.W. _Castiel smiled and quickly text out his dorm address. He waited a few more minutes for a reply. It was Dean again._ I think you'll like the surprise. _Castiel rolled his eyes. Dean always did strange things. He let the text roll from his thoughts as he continued with his homework.

Soon the sun was setting outside and Balthazar had made his way back to the dorm. He brought some food with him, sharing it with Castiel. They sat in front of their small TV and watched some reality show that was on. Balthazar found it entertaining, but Castiel was over it minutes into the show. He stood up, taking his plate a food with him and disposed of it in the trash. They had piled up some garbage over the week and it was finally getting on Castiel's nerves. It was something he had never been bothered with, but Dean's military cleanliness had gotten the best of him and he then tried to keep everything orderly and clean.

"I'm going to go take the trash out." Castiel mumbled, picking up the large bag and leaving the dorm behind. He walked down four flights of stairs to the lobby of the dorm. The dumpsters were outside in between the two dorms that sat next to each other. While he was throwing the bag over the large metal edge of the dumpster, his phone started to ring. Castiel pulled it from his pocket. Dean was calling back.

"Dean, it's so late, why are you still up?" Castiel asked upon answering the phone. It was around ten o' clock in San Francisco, which made it one in the morning back in North Carolina where Dean was.

_"Yeah it took me a while to get used to the jet lag."_

Castiel's heart skipped a beat. "What?" He asked. "Dean, what did you say?" He needed to hear it again.

_"Jet lag? Never have been on a plane before, let me tell you, not my favorite." _

Castiel was on the verge of tears. "Dean, where are you?"

_ "Well judging by the address you gave me, I'm thinking I'm standing in front of your dorm " _Castiel let out a joy filled yell. He practically jumped from where he was and ran to the front of his dorm building. He was still on the phone with Dean. He looked around, searching for Dean frantically. _"I see you." _

"Dean, where the hell are you?" Castiel dropped his phone when he saw Dean in the distance, staring up the side of the building. Castiel ran as fast as his toned, runner's legs could take him. Dean saw him and smiled, outstretching his arms. Castiel lunged, throwing himself at Dean. They embraced and kissed.

"Told you this would be a surprise." Dean smiled. His existence in front of Castiel lit up the world around them. Dean kissed the bridge of Castiel's nose and then his lips again. He picked Castiel up off the ground, swung him around to the best of his ability and set him back down. He looked Castiel in the eyes and smiled. Castiel counted the freckles on Dean's face.

"It's really you."

"Of course." Dean answered. "It's really me." He kissed Castiel again and again, making up for the missed months of no contact. They shared each other in that moment in each other's arms. Everything was blissful and perfect until a shout came form the window on the fourth floor.

"Is that the imaginary boyfriend?!" Castiel looked up and saw Balthazar waving from the window. "I believe you now!" Castiel rolled his eyes, turning his attention back to Dean who was really confused as to who that person was exactly and why he was being called an imaginary boyfriend.

"Roommate." Castiel sighed. "He's… different."

Dean laughed, waving back shortly to Castiel's roommate. "I see." He let his arms fall from Castiel and he looked up at the beautiful night sky. "So would you like to see my apartment?" He asked.

Castiel's eyes widened. "Apartment? What do you mean?"

Dean smiled, taking Castiel's hand in his own. "Did you really think I was just coming by for a visit?" Castiel swore he was going to faint.


	2. Coffee Date and Benny Lafitte

Dean held up his boyfriend and smiled. "What?" He laughed.

Castiel frowned at Dean. "Don't be messing with me." He said softly. "Are you joking?" He asked, looking Dean straight in the eyes.

"What's there to joke about?" Dean questioned right back. "Do you want to see my apartment or not?" Dean raised an eyebrow at Castiel and laughed again. "You really don't believe me, do you? That I would actually give up everything back in North Carolina and come here."

"Dean, I-"

"You asked me to come with you. It just took a little time for it to happen." Dean hooked arms with Castiel and pulled him away from the dorm building, away from the watching eyes of Castiel's roommate, Balthazar. "Come on."

Castiel let himself be lead by Dean to a the familiar black car that Dean called 'Baby.'

"Didn't you fly out here?" Castiel asked. "I thought you said jet lag on the phone."

They got inside the Impala anyways. Dean chuckled. "Figured I would make the moment more dramatic." He turned the key in the Impala and drove away from the college campus and into the city a little more. On the outskirts, about thirty minutes from Castiel's campus, they eventually made it to Dean's apartment. It really wasn't much. It was kind of a dump, actually. Castiel looked up the run down building and gulped.

"Not much." Dean frowned. "But it's a hell of a lot closer to you than across the country. So it's perfect." Dean poked Castiel in the side, causing the college student to jump. "Come on." Dean took Castiel's hand and led him through the front door of the apartment complex and up a few flights of stairs. Castiel felt as it got hotter and hotter as they went up, which meant that the building wasn't air-conditioned.

"You're going to roast in here." Castiel warned Dean. "You don't know the weather here." Castiel pulled at the collar of his shirt, already breaking a sweat form walking up the stairs and finally reaching Dean's door.

"Nah, I can take it." Dean took his keys from his pocket and placed his home key in the lock. After a few yanks and twists, the door was finally opened and heat spilled from the small apartment. "Okay, maybe it's a little hot." Dean chuckled, leading Castiel inside and showing him around.

Castiel could see basically everything in the apartment from the front door. It was only the corner part of the top floor. It was more of a flat than an apartment. A queen-sized bed was set against the far wall, on the floor with no frame. The windows were covered with sheets instead of curtains. Castiel shook his head, knowing he would end up buying Dean some things for the apartment. On the right side of the apartment, the side facing the street there was a small dining area and a even smaller kitchenette that included a fridge, stove area, a sink and a tiny amount of counter space.

Castiel wandered over to the window and stared out on the street, it was fairly busy and he knew Dean would have to get used to these things. Living in a city was extremely different from Dean's hometown. "This is great." Castiel said, finally plopping down on Dean's mattress-only bed. He flopped back against the sheets. He could tell Dean invested in the sheets. They were soft, Egyptian cotton with high thread count. He smiled, rubbing his hand over the surface of the bed. He looked up at Dean who was standing just at the edge of the bed. "I missed you." He said softly, running his hands over the sheets and then to his head.

Dean crawled onto the bed next to Castiel. He leaned over the dark haired boy, green eyes penetrating. "I missed you too. Missed this." Dean smirked, pressing his lips to Castiel's and moving his lips sensually. He crawled entirely overtop of Castiel, holding Castiel's jaw in line with his own with one hand and running his fingers over Castiel's body with his other hand. They parted breathing heavily, so hungry for each other that they forgot to breath.

"Dean. I am so glad you are here." Castiel tried his best to smile, but the emotions that flooded him were so relieving that he really felt like crying hard and in Dean's arms. He feverishly kissed Dean, making each moment like it was the last. "Don't leave me." He clung to Dean, grabbing at his t-shirt and never letting go. "I won't ever leave you again."

Dean frowned, falling over on his side next to Castiel and holding him against his chest. Castiel rubbed his wet face onto Dean's shirt. Dean kissed the top of Castiel's head and cooed him; rubbing his hands down Castiel's back to calm his flooding emotions. "We got a deal." Dean stated. Castiel looked up at him with confusion, face red from his outburst. "I won't leave you if you don't leave me. Deal." Castiel wiping his face against Dean's shirt again and nodded. It was a deal.

After lying there for a while, Castiel had fallen asleep in Dean's arms. Dean silently and skillfully pulled himself from Castiel and sat up from his bed, stretching. He got up from the bed to change his clothes. He had a suitcase in the far part of the small room that held all of his clothes. It acted as a dresser for the time being until he got some money from his new job and bought some furniture. Dean traveled to his bathroom, which was something he had to get used to. It was small and cramped. The toilet barely had enough room for his bowed legs. His shower was a little short for his six-foot frame, but it was his own. Something from his own earnings, and he was proud of that.

Dean quickly took a piss and changed his clothes to more comfortable sleepwear, being a pair of basketball shorts. He crawled back into the bed next to Castiel and kissed his lover's neck. Castiel stirred, turning to face Dean. He blinked away his sleepiness and then smiled at Dean. He brought his hand to Dean's scruffy face. Dean leaned into the touch. "Babe, you can't be comfortable in those clothes." Dean said, motioning at Castiel's denim shorts and twisted t-shirt.

Castiel groaned. "Too tired." He closed his eyes back up and curled into a ball. Dean laughed softly, uncurling Castiel from his ball of warmth. He placed his hands on Castiel's hips and unbuttoned his shorts, then the zipper. He shimmied the thick fabric down Castiel's pale thighs. He kissed each thigh and down each leg until the shorts were off and Castiel was in his dark blue briefs. Castiel squirmed, wanting to sleep, but Dean persisted. He reached up and ran his hands under Castiel's shirt. He ran his fingers over Castiel's abdomen and found his way to Castiel's nipples.

"Dean, I'm tired." Castiel complained, holding his shirt.

"Just getting you comfortable." Dean smiled, kissing Castiel along his now bare abdomen. He lifted Castiel's shirt higher, kissing every bit of him. Castiel moaned at the slightest touch, but he was determined to sleep. He pushed At Dean's face, trying to get him away, but it was futile. Dean was even more determined to get his hands all over Castiel. "I know you like this."

"I don't." Castiel pouted. "Go to bed." He tried to sound in charge, but Dean caught one of his nipples in his mouth, sucking on it and flicking his touch over the pink flesh. Castiel's breath hitched and he bit his bottom lip. "Dean- hnnng." Castiel held the back of Dean's head with his hands. He felt every motion Dean was laying on him. He couldn't hold back his urges anymore and he gave into the seduction that was Dean Winchester. He felt himself grow harder and harder, pushing against the dark fabric of his briefs. Dean was still working on his pink, nipple, making it hard and sensitive. Castiel moaned, pushing his hips up against Dean's groin.

Dean responded with his own hardening cock. He took his attention away from Castiel's nipple and worked his way down to the waistband of Castiel's briefs. Dean freed Castiel from his fabric prison and worked him in his hand before enveloping him in his mouth. Castiel bucked his hips forwards, deep throating Dean. Dean gagged a little from the sudden thrust, but steadied himself and worked his lover over.

Castiel moaned loudly, thrashing his head against Dean's soft sheets on his bed. "D-dean." He called out, grabbing Dean's hair, trying to get a hold of something. Dean licked his flank, settled his lips on the head of Castiel cock and gave it a small kiss. Dean looked up at his boyfriend and smiled. Castiel was flushed pink and making the most erotic noises. He had missed this. There wasn't much they could do within the week that they had together before Castiel left for school. This was making up for lost time. Dean was making sure he covered all the bases. He gave Castiel one last sensual look before continuing his attention towards Castiel's beautiful cock.

This was two months in the making.

Castiel woke up that morning, feeling sticky and hot, but overall comfortable in Dean's bare arms. He felt Dean's breathe tickle at his lashes, and the motion made Castiel snuggled closer to his lover. "Morning." He mumbled into Dean's chest, hugging him close. "Want me to get some food? There is a coffee shop down the street that I go to sometimes." Castiel didn't know much about the part of town Dean lived in, but he did know of a small, hole-in-the-wall coffee shop that served amazing coffee and even better pastries.

Dean grumbled, pulling Castiel closer still. "Stay here." He whispered, kissing the top of Castiel's head. "It's too nice like this." Dean pulled away and stretched. His stomach growled and his started to laugh. "On second thought-"

Castiel let out a small chuckle. He sat up, his hair flipping around his head in multiples sex knots. "I can get the food." He said, running his hands through his hair to tame it. It didn't work. Dean laughed, licked his hand and tried smoothing Castiel's hair back. Castiel only grimaced and back away from Dean's slobbery hand. He jumped from the bed, searching for his clothes that Dean had thrown across the room the night before. He pulled his dark blue briefs on and turned to see Dean getting his clothes on as well. "Are you coming with me?" Castiel asked.

Dean glanced over his shoulder at Castiel and nodded, throwing his shirt over his head. "Yeah, figured we could make it a date." He winked ad turned to Castiel who had also thrown a shirt on. They looked at each other and laughed. Dean was wearing Castiel's simple white t-shirt and Castiel was wearing Dean's Metallica shirt. They did it again.

"Well, I'm keeping this one." Dean said, hugging his arms around himself and grinning like a fool. Castiel blushed, plucking at Dean's t-shirt he was wearing. He nodded at Dean, silently saying he was keeping Dean's shirt as well. "Let's go?" Dean offered his hand to Castiel, Castiel took it and they were out of the apartment and down the flights of stairs in moments.

The coffee shop that Castiel was talking about was a few blocks away. It was up a hill, which Castiel had gotten used to in his time spent in San Francisco, but Dean was having some troubles with his bowed legs getting up the hill. "This coffee better be worth it." Dean huffed, taking the final step up the hill where the pavement finally evened out. Once at the top of the hill they turned and faced the sunrise.

"The coffee is good, but the view is better." Castiel smiled. They got a perfect view of the waterfront from the top of the hill they were on. Dean sighed, agreeing to the spectacular view. "Now, coffee." Castiel took Dean's hand in his own and led him into the small coffee shop. When they walked inside it was an instant blast of coffee goodness. Castiel relaxed instantly, knowing his day would be a little better with his coffee fix.

Dean wrinkled his nose. He wasn't much of a coffee person. He really only liked it black and not with any kind of French vanilla or other additive. He just wanted straight black coffee. Castiel led him over to the small line in front of the counter where they served the morning blend. After waiting for a few minutes, Castiel ordered for them both, getting Dean a regular black coffee and mocha for himself. He also ordered some apple fritters to go with their drinks.

"Thanks, Benny." Castiel nodded at the barista. Dean looked from his boyfriend to the barista and then back at Castiel.

"You come here a lot?" Dean asked, still trying to find the connection between Castiel and this fairly large, blonde, bearded guy.

Castiel shrugged. "Every once in a while. Benny is in one of my lecture halls." After a few minutes more of waiting, Benny handed their hot drinks to them and smiled.

"Here ya' go." His accent was drawn out, but fit his appearance well. Castiel took his mocha and sipped on it while he watched Dean's reaction to Benny. He raised an eyebrow when Dean held out his hand to shake Benny's.

"Dean Winchester." He said proudly. "You're a friend of Cas'? He asked.

Benny chuckled. "Benny Lafitte. Yeah, a friend." It took Benny a few seconds after shaking Dean's hand to realize who he was exactly. "So you're the guy Castiel's been talkin' bout around here." He nodded his head in approval. Dean looked over to Castiel who was lowering his head in embarrassment.

"I guess I am." Dean grinned foolishly. "Good talking with you, Benny. See you around." Dean took a drink from his coffee and held it up, saying it was a good cup.

"Likewise, Brother." Benny then went back to his work, finishing other customer's orders.

Castiel led Dean over to the far table in the front of the small café. The table sat by a large window that led out to the street. Castiel gazed outside while sipping on his mocha. He set his cup down and took a chunk out of the apple fritter he bought. "I still cannot believe you're here." He finally said.

"I'm not actually." Dean said. Castiel looked up confused. "You're dreaming." Dean stuck his tongue out, mocking Castiel. Castiel sighed with relief, knowing Dean's words were just a joke. "Don't give me that face, Cas. I'm here to stay as long as you want me to."

"Really?"

"Ten times more, babe." Dean smirked, leaning back in his chair. He drank his coffee slowly and watched the blood fill Castiel's cheeks.


	3. How's Your Life, Dean Winchester?

Saturday was completely different than the typical Saturdays Castiel Novak had been having over the last couple months. He wasn't sitting in his dorm room going over all his homework. He wasn't wishing he could see Dean. He was living the moment. He was sitting on Dean's bed in Dean's apartment in Dean's arms. He hoped this would become his typical Saturday routine.

Castiel felt a kiss on his temple and the scratch of a three-day scruff. He smiled and leaned into Dean's kiss. "Mmmm." Castiel closed his eyes and snuggled even closer to Dean. Dean wrapped an arm around him and they just lied there, tangled in the sheets. "Do you have a job here?" Castiel mumbled out.

"Yeah. Bobby called a few people and got someone to take me in at this mechanic's shop down the street from here." Dean pulled his arm from Castiel and checked the watch on his hand. He suddenly sat up and cursed. "Shit, I forgot I work today at two." Castiel checked his own watch and it was around 1:45 in the afternoon. Castiel frowned. Dean was going to be late and he didn't want to be the reason Dean was late at his job he needed to stay in San Francisco.

"I can take the bus back. Don't worry about me." Castiel said, grabbing for his wallet and keys. Dean had hopped up from the bed and was pulling on an old pair of pants and a work shirt. He ran his hands through his hair and looked around the messy apartment for his keys. Castiel found them next to his own and dangled them. "Here." He chucked the keys across the room towards Dean and Dean caught them easily.

"Thanks, babe." Dean said in a hurry. He leaned down next to the best and stole a kiss. "Lock up before you leave?" He asked. Castiel nodded and watched Dean high tail it out of the apartment. He could hear the Dean's heavy steps down the stairs and eventually the roar of the Impala. Castiel tapped his feet on the ground and looked around the apartment. He decided he could pick up a little before he left. He gathered Dean's dirty clothes and piled them in the corner of his apartment next to Dean's suitcase. Castiel then attempted to make the bed, but the sheets needed washed anyways, so he ended up pulling the sheets from the bed. The motion fluttered a piece of paper out into the open. Castiel leaned down to pick it up and put it back from where it came from.

He inspected the paper and saw that it had Dean's name on it written in nice handwriting that could really only belong to a woman. Men's handwriting just never looked that good. Curious, he opened up the paper and saw a long letter. He skipped to the bottom and saw that it was from Dean's mother.

Castiel gulped and looked around the apartment. He felt bad for reading Dean's private letter, but he was too curious for his own good. Castiel straightened the paper and started to read.

_To my wonderful son, Dean,_

_ I hope that wherever you go in life that you are happy. I am sad to see you go, but I know that every boy needs his space and needs to see the world. I know you are no different. I will miss you with all my heart and I know that you will keep in contact. I hope that you and your father come to terms with each other._

Castiel raised an eyebrow, wondering what Dean and his father would be at ends with each other about. He continued reading down the paper.

_I always knew you were different, Dean. I wished that your father would not be judgmental and just accept you, but he is always so stubborn. I just want to let you know that no matter what I know that he loves you deep down and never wanted to hurt you._

Castiel held his hand to his mouth. Dean's father found out that he was gay. Castiel knew that Dean feared what his dad's reaction would be, and apparently it was bad.

_I wish you the best and never hesitate to call if you need anything. I love you, sweetie._

_Best wishes in your travels, Mom _

Castiel felt like the worst person in the world. Dean left his home behind. He left his family behind for him. Dean and his father had a fight because of him. Castiel felt like he changed Dean and it crumbled Dean's family life. He folded the letter and placed it back down. He took in a deep breath, holding back his feelings like he had always done before. He rushed out of the apartment, locking it on the way out.

He got on the first bus; not even caring which direction it took him. He knew that eventually he would get back to campus. He nervously sat by himself and tried to ignore the rest of the world. He thought of the words Dean's mother said. She sounded understanding but still sad. Castiel sighed, running his hands through his hair. He rode around on the bus for a while until he got off and walked towards his college campus. It was nearing four in the afternoon and Castiel didn't expect his roommate to be home. Castiel dragged himself up his stairs to his room and was relieved by the air conditioning that cooled his body. He forgot to ask Dean what time he would be off work, so he was just going to wait until Dean called him.

He did want to talk to him about the whole thing. He wanted to know how Dean felt about it all. Castiel placed his key into his door's lock and pulled it open. He was relieved to see Balthazar wasn't there. It would be nice to have a few moments of silence and contemplation without a nosy roommate.

Castiel sat down at his desk and picked at his shirt. He needed to shower badly. The dull ache in his body called for it. He got up and grabbed his shower caddy and a towel. He opened the door and faced Balthazar who was about to go inside the room.

"Hey, Cassie!" Balthazar's blue eyes opened wide. "Didn't think you would be back so soon." Balthazar pursed his lips and looked Castiel up and down. He noticed the ACDC shirt and laughed. "Change of clothes, I see." Balthazar smirked.

"This is Dean's shirt." Castiel stated bluntly.

"I guessed as much." Balthazar chuckles. He saw Castiel's shower caddy and smiled. "Going to go wash off that sex, eh?" He raised an eyebrow at his roommate. Castiel's cheeks reddened. He shook his head and pushed passed Balthazar. He rushed down the hallway. Balthazar yelled out to him. "I want details!" He waved his arm in the air and Castiel tried to ignore him, but the blush on his cheeks only deepened.

Later that day Castiel found himself at the library. Balthazar had been asking him non-stop questions about Dean and what they did that past night. Castiel didn't feel lie sharing such personal things, so he escaped to the quiet library to work on some homework in his free time. He sat at a table and flipped through art history books. He groaned as his stomach growled and gurgled, wanting food. He pushed back from his study table and picked up his books. He was going to check out a few books to look at later in his dorm. He scanned them with the librarian and then put them in his bag. His phone then buzzed in his pocket.

From _'Dean'_

_Want dinner? D.W._

It was perfect timing and it made Castiel smile. He quickly texted back Dean with a 'yes' and they planned to meet up within the next thirty minutes. Castiel stood outside of his dorm and waited for the familiar roar of the Impala's engine. Dean pulled up minutes later and Castiel walked slowly to the car. He peered inside, and saw Dean smiling at him. He opened the door and got in quietly.

"Hey babe." Dean said leaning in for a kiss. Castiel shied away, causing Dean to only get Castiel's cheek. Dean pulled back and his brow furrowed. "What's wrong, Cas?" Castiel twisted his hands in his lap. "Cas?" Dean placed a hand on his lover's shoulder. "Hey, what's going on?"

"How did your dad find out about you?" Castiel asked, wanting to get the question off his chest. "My assumption is that he found out about us…" Castiel's blue eyes darkened as he stared at his lap. "Did I cause your family to have trouble?"

"What? No. Cas, no." Dean patted Castiel and tried to lighten the mood. "I told my dad. He found out because I told him. It was kind of hard to hide it when my mom knew and Sam knew all along, so I figured I'd let him know." Dean shrugged. "Wait, how'd you know he knew?" Dean pulled back and raised an eyebrow at Castiel.

"I read that letter your mom wrote to you." Castiel said truthfully. "I was being curious. I apologize." Castiel raised his head to meet eyes with Dean. He gave an apologetic look and Dean rolled his eyes.

"Don't worry about that, Cas. You didn't do anything to cause anything." Dean leaned over and kissed Castiel's temple, then turned Castiel to face him before kissing him softly on the lips. "Really, don't worry about anything. I am here with you and that's all that counts."

"Alright."

"Now let's get dinner." Dean grinned, putting the Impala into drive. They wheeled out of the small parking lot and were on the road in moments.

- Two Months Prior -

Dean pulled into his driveway, tired and sad from his trip to Kansas. He leaned over the seat and grabbed his duffel bag that he had so hastily packed when he left home to go get Castiel. He yawned and stepped out of the car. He stretched, stiff from driving for a whole day. He felt his muscles pop and the feeling was wondrous. He shut the door of his precious car and then made his way to his front door.

He stepped inside and saw that no one was home, he sighed with relief. He wasn't up to dealing with all the questions. Especially from his dad as to where he's been for the past week with the Impala. Dean kicked his shoes off by the door and traveled upstairs towards his bedroom. Once inside he sat down on his bed and pulled his phone to text Castiel that he got home safely. He still hadn't answered Castiel as to if he would go to California or not. It was a big decision and Dean knew that he would have to save a hell of a lot of money just to get out there, let alone get a place to stay and a job out there to sustain his lifestyle.

Dean lied back on his bed and yawned. He would have gone to sleep at that point, but he heard the front door slam shut. He jumped from his bed and left his room. He heard hard footsteps coming up the stairs. He was about to round the corner to meet whoever was there, but was bombarded by his younger brother, Sam.

"Dean!"

"Sam?" Dean stumbled back, but steadied himself.

Sam was out of breath and looked freaked out. "Dean, I think you should go to Bobby's." Sam suddenly said. "I really think you should go to Bobby's _right now._"

Dean looked at his brother with a confused expression. "What's going on, Sam?" He listened to more heavy footsteps pounding up the stairs. He then saw his father on the first landing of the stairway. Sam quickly moved out of the way, pushing himself up against the wall. "Hey, dad." Dean raised a hand in a friendly gesture, but he was watching his father carefully. John looked pissed beyond the point Dean had ever seen before. "H-how are things?"

"Kitchen. Now." John ordered, his voice booming.

"Dad, please. Dean didn't mean to do anything wrong. He just wanted to see his friend." Sam pleaded. John wasn't listening. He raised his hand to strike Sam and shut him up, but Dean growled harshly, any sense of friendliness completely vanished.

"If you hit him, you better call an ambulance for a broken arm." Dean snapped at his father, glaring.

"Boy, don't talk to me like that. I am your father." John returned the deep glare. He pushed Sam out of the way and went to grab Dean. He got a firm grip on Dean's arm and yanked him down the stairs to the kitchen where most of their family fights went down. Dean rubbed his arm when his father finally let him go. "Keys." John held his hand out.

"Dad…"

"Keys, Dean."

Dean pulled the Impala's keys from his pocket and handed them over to his father. He should have known that he would have the car taken away, especially after the fiasco with him disappearing for a week with the car and not asking his father if he could take the precious car. Dean swore that his father loved that car more than him. It was probably true. He groaned when he saw his father pocket the keys. He knew he wasn't going to see those for a while.

"I don't want you to be _friends_ with that Novak kid." John hissed something about Castiel being a bad influence under his breath. Dean rolled his eyes. There was no way he was going to not see Castiel anymore. He already went through that and it killed him. Even if Castiel was going to move across the country, Dean knew he was going to find a way to get out to him.

Dean could smell it now. He could smell the alcohol that lace his father's breathe. "I don't want you to drink all the time, but hey- we can't always get what we want." He said harshly to his father. He shrugged, being a smartass was something he didn't do often with his father, but his dad was being a ridiculous drunk. John grabbed the front of Dean's shirt, fisting the fabric tight in his grip. Dean waited for the blow that he knew was going to come. He cringed his eyes shut, waiting.

"John Winchester. Don't you dare hit my son." Mary yelled out. Dean was relieved to see her, but also feared that she was getting in between something that dean wanted to handle with his father alone. Mary made sure Dean was okay before she placed herself between the two. She glared at her husband with the eyes of an enraged mother. She raised her hand and slapped John hard across the face. "Sober up. Now. Or so help me-" Mary huffed.

John huffed back at his wife and glared over her towards Dean. "No son of mine will be some fag." John barked. "Not under my roof."

"John!" Mary warned.

Dean's eyes widened in shock at the words that came out of his father's mouth. All the fights with Alastair and Michael flashed through his mind. He was infuriated that his own father though the same about him as they did. They thought his life was wrong and his choice in love was sinful. Dean stepped past his mother and puffed his chest out to his father. "Sorry, but your son is a _fag._" Dean spit. "And don't worry, I won't be under your roof any longer." Dean turned on his feet and raced up the stairs. He ignored the protests from his mother and the angered shouts from his father. He passed up Sam, who was sitting against the wall on the stair landing. Sam looked up at his brother with tears in his eyes. Dean just kept going. He threw open his bedroom door and grabbed whichever bags he could shove things into and emptied out his drawers and closet.

Sam came running into the room. He latched himself onto his older brother. "Dean, please don't go." Sam cried. Dean rubbed circles in his brother back and hushed him. "Dean-" Sam hiccupped. "Don't leave me here." Dean pulled away from Sam. The pain was real. He hated seeing his brother like this, but he knew he had to leave and get away from his father.

Dean sat Sam down on his bed and shoved the rest of his things into his bags. Once he grabbed everything he deemed to be worth taking with him, he hugged Sam quickly before walked over to the window and threw his things down to the front lawn. He had jumped from the window multiple times before, so he knew he could make it without getting injured. He saluted his brother. "Sammy, I'll come back for you. Just hold in there, okay?" Sam nodded through the tears. Dean frowned, fighting back his own waterworks. He jumped from the window and landed with a thud onto the front lawn. He picked up his bags and started running.

It only took him a few minutes of running to figure out where he needed to go. He was still angry with Gabriel and the Novak house was too far away by foot. Jo was already off at college and Ellen would just tell him to toughen up and get back home. His last resort was Bobby. Bobby would understand. Dean ran until he was out of breath, standing at Bobby's doorstep. He wasn't holding back the tears then. He let them fall down his face and drip off his chin when he knocked on the old screen door of Bobby's house.

Bobby came to the door and looked out the screen for a second before he realized that the blubbering mess of tears standing in his doorstep was Dean. "Hey kid-" Bobby opened the door; the rust caused it to creek. Dean sniffed and took deep breaths, but the tears still flowed.

"C-can I s-stay with y-you f-f-for a while?" Dean asked shakily. He saw Bobby nod through his tear filled eyes and then he felt arms around him, embracing him in a loving hug. Dean dropped his bags down on the porch and wrapped his arms around Bobby. He breathed in the man's scent and knew that no matter what happened, that this man would be more of a father than John ever was or would be.

"You can stay as long as you want." Bobby answered, leading Dean inside the house. He turned around and picked up Dean's belongings.

- Present Time –

Castiel sat in silence as Dean zoned out at dinner. He laid a hand on Dean's, rubbing it gently with his thumb. "Dean?"

Dean shook his head, his eyes coming back into focus. "Thank you for dinner." Castiel said for the fifth time.

Dean smiled at him and took his hand in his own. "No problem, babe." He went back to being quiet. He was thinking about the letter his mother gave him before he left. Her words ached and Dean felt like a terrible person for leaving both his mom and Sam behind with his father. "You ready to go?" Dean asked, getting up from his seat and placing some money on the counter. Castiel laid a few bills out for the tip as he stood up as well. They grabbed hands and held them once more, heading out of the restaurant. Castiel couldn't help but feel like reading the private letter wasn't such a good idea.


	4. Meet Meg Masters

The week had gone by without incident. Dean went back to being his normal self, and Castiel was glad that his curiosity didn't get the best of their relationship, yet he still felt like Dean was keeping something to himself. It was Friday and Castiel was off to his last class of the day until he could see Dean once more. Castiel walked towards his seat in English class. No one had sat there so he claimed it as his own, but that day there was a girl sitting there.

Castiel stood by the desk and looked down at her. "Excuse me." She looked up and Castiel remembered her face.

"Ah, Clarence!" She clapped her hands together. "Best seat in the house." She raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Take a seat." She motioned to the seat next to hers that wasn't quite as good as the one she was in, but it would do.

"Meg." Castiel nodded towards her. "And my name is Castiel, not Clarence."

"Really?" Meg raised a thin black eyebrow, obviously mocking Castiel. She eyes the chair once more and Castiel sat down and situated his notebook and pen, getting ready for class like a good student. "So, Clarence…." Meg said, again mocking Castiel by continuing to call him a different name. Castiel looked up, irritated. "I saw you the other day with some hunk." She rolled her shoulders. "That your boyfriend or something?" She asked genuinely interested.

Castiel felt nervous. He had never really spoken to Meg, even though he had been in the same class with her for a little over two months. He never said anything about being gay, but most people didn't have to ask him if he was. It was just known. "Uh-Yes. Dean is my boyfriend." He nodded his head low, blushing. "You think he is a hunk?" Castiel felt weird saying that term. He saw Dean more as beautiful and charming. Hunky seemed like trying to describe Dean as a large, brooding, man, which he was not. He was tall and fit, not at all 'hunky.'

Meg blew out a breath and fanned herself. "Well, Clarence. If I had a boy like that, I would catch on fire." Castiel raised an eyebrow, obviously not understanding her reference. "Cause he's smoking." Meg knew that her words were making Castiel blush more and more. She finished up her playful banter when the professor walked in and told them to pull out the book that they had been reading.

"How about we go get some food later tonight?" Meg offered, mid-lecture. "We could get some pizza or something." She flipped the page in her book when the paragraph they were reading continued onto the next page.

Castiel's forehead crinkled. "Well, I am supposed to go to Dean's place for dinner." He bit his lip. He really wanted to make friend with this strange girl and prove his roommate wrong, but he planned the weekend with Dean because he had work off. "Uh-"

"I don't mind if he joins." Meg winked. Castiel couldn't get his answer in before the class let out and Meg placed her hand out. He questioned her gesture and she moved her hand a little. "Give me your phone so I can put my number in." Castiel jumped to it and handed his phone over. Mission for a new friend completed. She quickly sent a text to her own phone to exchange numbers. "There. I'll text you later for pizza. Make sure you bring your man." She whipped her dark hair over her shoulder and walked off, swaying her hips. Castiel stared at his phone and sighed. He had to change his plans with Dean once more and knew that it was a hassle, but he really did want that new friend.

"Hey, Dean." Castiel held his phone to his ear and listened as his boyfriend answered. "So about tonight-"

_"We're still on for dinner, right? I found this place that sells none of that modern shit. All burgers and fries, baby._"Dean chuckled into the phone.

"Well I was thinking you could meet some of my friends…" Castiel mentioned softly. He paced around, waiting for Dean's answer. He hoped that Dean wasn't too upset about canceling dinner for just the two of them. "How does that sound? I mean- You don't have to. We can go wherever you want to go, alone, as well." Castiel felt his pulse quicken.

Dean sighed into the phone. _"Well, it was about time you introduced me to some new people. This place was getting pretty boring."_ Castiel physically relaxed and loosened his grip on his cell phone. i_"So what time do you want me over there? I'm assuming it's at your place?"_ Dean asked.

Castiel wasn't sure. He was still waiting for a text or call from Meg. She had all the plans. He was just relaying the message. "You can come here and wait with me." Castiel suggested. He heard Dean groan. "What?" Castiel questioned, concerned with Dean's behavior.

"_That roommate of yours is a strange dude."_ Dean said quickly. _"But I guess I can handle him for the night. As long as he doesn't touch me with his paint covered hands." _The last time Dean picked Castiel up at the dorm, Balthazar had been working on a painting in the room and went to shake Dean's hand while his own was covered with oil paint. He was an art major, there was nothing he could really do about the constant mess. Castiel chuckled before Dean said he was on his way over. He said goodbye after saying 'I love you,' and Dean responded with 'Ten times more, babe.'

Castiel decided that he would tidy up his room before Dean got there. It would take at least thirty minutes for Dean to get through traffic and make his way to campus. Also Dean had to find a parking spot for the Impala. Castiel had suggested for him to get a bus pass, but Dean rolled his eyes and said he would never give up his baby, even when living in the city.

Castiel heard a honk outside his window exactly thirty minutes later after hanging up with Dean. He looked out and smiled. Dean had the window down and was waving up at Castiel's dorm window. Castiel waved back and left his room in a hurry. He hopped into the passenger seat of the Impala and they drove off to find a parking spot. Castiel was glad it was the weekend. People had left campus for home or were out at the beach, which meant that a lot of the street parking was readily available.

They walked back to the dorms, which were a short distance away. Before they entered the building Castiel felt his phone buzz and then sounds s mall chimed tone. He picked it up, forgetting that Meg said she would be in contact. He wasn't used to anyone other than Dean texting him. Well Balthazar would sometimes, but it was mostly Dean who texted him.

From 'Meg'

_ I live in Quad C. I just ordered for a bunch of people. Bring who ever. ~BlackEyes _

Castiel pursed his lips at her signature, but figured she was just a strange girl and he still wanted to be her friend. "Quad C." Castiel repeated. He thought about where that dorm was exactly and knew it wasn't too far away. " I guess we are going to her place. She said to bring who ever. Do you mind if Balthazar comes along? I promise he won't get paint on you." Castiel gave Dean pleading eyes. The more people around, the less awkward Castiel believed her would feel. Dean sighed heavily and eventually nodded. Castiel gave his best smiled and shot a text at Balthazar.

_My friend Meg said to invite whoever to Quad C for pizza. Would you like to come? Cas._

Seconds later, Castiel received a text back. _Sure thing. I'll be down, Cassie. Smooches. _Balthy._ Castiel rolled his eyes and ignored the nickname. All of his friends decided that 'Castiel' just wasn't the name for him. There was 'Cas,' 'Cassie,' and even Clarence. He would just have to deal with it. They waited near the main entrance of the dorm for Balthazar to come down. Dean grumbled when he saw Balthazar come down, his blonde hair tossed around his head. He had a bit of paint smudged on his cheek. "Pizza?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, my friend- her name is Meg- invited me and whoever I wanted to come along." Castiel filled Balthazar in on details.

"I thought you would want to spend some time with Dean-o here. If I were him, I would want to spend all of my time with you, Cassie." Balthazar sent a playful punch into Dean's arm and winked at Castiel. Dean shrugged him away and grumbled something under his breath.

"Let's get going?" Dean spoke up. He grabbed Castiel's arm and pulled him close. He threw a death glare at Balthazar for even thinking about making a move on Castiel.

"Dean…" Castiel said softly, trying to ease his freckled boyfriend. Dean just tugged him harsher. Castiel sighed and went along with it. He knew Dean didn't care for Balthazar, but he never knew Dean would be so jealous. They wanted in a silence as they rushed over to Meg's dorm. It was the weekend so people were walking about, getting ready to go out downtown. Castiel wanted to try the whole dance club thing again, but would never mention it to Dean because of the last time when Dean got in a fight and was stabbed. He never wanted something like that to happen ever again.

Castiel looked down at his phone after he pulled it out from his pocket. It was a text from Meg telling them to come on in and that she propped the door so that they could get in without a PED. She was on the first floor and the door was open. Castiel ogled at the dorm, it was a lot nicer than his own, with private bathrooms and everything.

Castiel knocked on the door even though it was open. "Meg?" He called inside. Instead of Meg, a tall girl with short hair popped up from her bed and smiled. She waved them inside. "Uh, where is Meg?" Castiel asked. Obviously the girl was Meg's roommate.

"She went to get some stuff for us to drink." The girl said, shrugging her shoulders. "Who's up to getting shitty kitty?" She looked excited, although Castiel didn't know what that term meant. "I'm Stefanie by the way." She held up her hand to wave and noticed the two people behind Castiel. "Make yourself at home. Meg will be back soon." She pointed over to the futon. Castiel made his way over, not letting go of Dean's hand. Balthazar sat directly next to Dean.

"So…" Balthazar started, easing the awkwardness in the room. "You're in my human sexuality studies course." They shared a laugh that made Castiel glance over at Dean who didn't seem like he was enjoying it too much.

"Dean, you could have said no to going." Castiel mentioned. "I wouldn't have minded." He squeezed his hand on Dean's. Dean tried to give him a smile, but he was focused on Balthazar, making sure he kept his hands to himself.

"I'm fine." Dean said, reassuring Castiel with a kiss to the temple.

"So are you guys together?" Stefanie spoke up. "Cause that's cute." She gestured between them and Castiel couldn't help but smiled.

"Yeah, we are." Dean spoke up. His smile was present and Castiel felt a little more at ease. They conversed for a few more minutes before Meg came bursting into the room, her arms filled with boxes of pizza and bags of drinks. Dean stood up and offered his help. He took the bags from Meg and looked inside.

"Ready to party?" Meg said, setting the pizzas down on the floor and grabbing a bottle of vodka from a bag in Dean's arms. She showed it to the room and grinned wildly. Castiel gulped, not sure if he wanted to party, but Dean looked all he more ready.

"Yeah- I need a drink." Dean snatched the bottle and popped it open. He brought it to his lips and let the liquid burn down his throat. Castiel took in some air sharply as Dean handed him the bottle. He brought it to his own lips and nodded before doing the same, only more restrained than Dean. It was going to be a long and interesting night.


	5. Being Drunk and Revealing Unsaid Things

"How about another?" Dean raised his shot glass and tried to clink it with Meg's but Castiel got in between. "What, Cas?"

"Dean, I think you've had enough." Castiel physically lowered Dean's outstretch arm himself. The vodka in the shot glass spilled a little over Dean's hand. He got his arm away from Castiel and took the shot. "Dean…" Castiel chided. He frowned at his boyfriend and tried to wipe up the vodka from Dean's lips, but Dean shook his head away.

"Cas, quit being-" Dean stopped himself, thinking about his words. "Stop being such a-" He couldn't figure out what he wanted to say. He just started to laugh. Meg, Balthazar, and Meg's roommate all laughed along with him. They were all drunk and Castiel had only had the first sip of vodka in the beginning. The pizza was all gone and Castiel decided to clean up, folding the boxes and setting them near the door.

"Dean, I think we should go." Castiel said, tugging on Dean's shirtsleeve. Dean looked up at him and gave him a look of 'what do you mean, leave?' Castiel groaned. "Come on, Dean." Castiel was insisting. He had seen Dean drunk before, but not that drunk.

"Cas. Sit down, we're having fun with i_your/i_ friends." Dean tugged Castiel down, but Castiel stood his ground. "Cas, what the hell? First you read that damn letter and then you change our plans without asking." Dean spit.

The silence in the room grew and they were the center of attention. Castiel could feel his pulse racing. Dean brought the letter up, which meant that he was upset about it. "Dean…."

"You shouldn't have read that damn letter." Dean stood up from his seat on the floor and grabbed his jacket from the back of Stefanie's chair. "Let's go." He grumbled, pulling his arms through his sleeves. He grabbed Castiel by the arm roughly and they exited the room. Castiel got one last glance back in the room and saw the shocked expressions of his friends. He frowned and gave them an apologetic look before leaving with Dean.

"Dean you're hurting my arm." Castiel pulled away from Dean roughly once they were outside of the building and down the street a little. He threw his arms to his side. "I am sorry for reading your letter. My curiosity got the best of me." Castiel wished that would be a good enough apology to Dean to have him drop it. He stood silent and waited for Dean to say something. Dean only paced back and forth on the pavement. "Dean, please."

"You know what, Cas?" Dean said harshly, turning around and facing the dark haired boy. "I was gonna play this off as nothing happened and we could just move on and I could be happy with you." Dean spit, his fists clenching at his sides. His face was red from alcohol and anger.

"What?"

"The situation with my family." Dean finally said, looking down at his feet like he was ashamed. "I left because I couldn't handle it anymore." Castiel wanted to touch Dean, feel his flesh beneath his fingertip. He raised a hand cupped Dean's cheek.

"Dean, what happened?" Castiel asked soothingly. He forced Dean to meet his eyes and the look on Dean's face was that of someone who was broken down to almost nothing.

"Things got bad, Cas." Dean said, holding his own hand to Castiel's. "Things got so bad." Dean trembled under Castiel's touch. Castiel looked deep into Dean's green eyes and asked for an answer. Dean shut his eyes for a moment and looked like he was in pain.

- Two Months Prior –

"Let me inside, Bobby." John barked from on the porch of Bobby's old house. Dean was watching from the window upstairs and could hear every word. "He's my boy and if he's going to disrespect me like he did, he will be dealt with." John slammed his hand onto the doorframe when Bobby stayed in the way, not letting John inside.

Dean cringed when he saw his father turn around and leave the porch. The door to his truck slammed, making Dean jump slightly. He watched his father peel out of the gravel driveway. Then he heard footsteps coming up the creaking stairs and up to the doorway. Dean turned around and saw Bobby. "Hey." He said softly.

"I wasn't going to let him in with that attitude." Bobby rubbed the back of his neck. "How're ya doing?" He looked up at Dean and saw that the boy was drained.

Dean cleared his throat. "I'm worried about Sam." Dean said honestly. "I left in such a hurry." Dean hated himself for leaving his brother behind. Their father was such a hard person to deal with and now that he was angrier than ever, Sam would get the front of his anger.

"I can check on him when I pick up the rest of your things."

"When you what?" Dean wasn't thinking about that at the moment. He had mostly grabbed the essentials and didn't have time to pack all of his belongings.

"When I get your things. You've moving in here." Bobby pointed to the floor of the room they were in. "There's a bunch of stuff in here, but I'll clean it out. It's all yours though." Body picked up a book that was on the shelves that lines the one side of the wall in the room. He blew the dust off of it.

"Bobby, I-"

"No buts. I'll pick up the rest of your stuff tomorrow and check on Sam." Bobby wasn't taking no for an answer.

"My mom too." Dean wanted to make sure she was okay as well. He knew his father's rage wouldn't just be focused on Sam. His mother was in the way as well. Bobby nodded, knowing Dean's worries. Dean looked around the room and loved the idea that it would be his own room. He and Sam stayed there when their parents left them with Bobby for an evening or two when they were younger. There was a fairly large bed in the center of the far wall. A desk and bookshelves were against the sidewall and a window on the other wall. Boxes and old books littered the room, but with some time and effort, Dean knew he could make it his own.

"Thanks Bobby." Dean sat down on the bed. Bobby walked up to him and patted him on the shoulder. "Really, thank you." Dean looked up at the only father figure he ever trusted.

"Do you want to- well- you know, talk about it?" Bobby asked. "I mean, I'm not suck for sob stories, but it feels good to get it off your chest." Bobby rubbed his nose, chuckling. Dean smiled, but the look in his eyes showed that he was beyond distraught.

"He found out."

"I figured." Bobby responded quickly.

"And all I want to do is go to Cas, but he's all the way on the other side of the country." Dean let his head fall into his hands. "I want to go so bad and be with him, but with everything now- I can't leave when I don't have a car. I don't have anything to get me there and I don't have the money to stay there." Dean groaned into his hands. He missed Castiel so much and it had only been a day since he last saw him. It just hurt so bad to be so far away with no way of seeing him.

"Alright, calm down. We'll figure something out. Just sleep it off for now, Dean. I'm gonna go make some dinner, I'll call you when it's ready." Bobby left the room, thinking about everything Dean had said. He thought silently and then formulated a plan to help out his almost-son.

The next day after sleeping off some of his anxieties, Dean woke up and looked around the house for Bobby. He eventually found him out in the garage, working on a car. Bobby looked up and smiled at Dean although the younger looked like hell. "Hey Dean, I'm leaving here soon to get your things. I already talked to your mother."

"Really?" Dean's heart ached.

"She wants you to come back home, but I said you needed some space." Bobby set down the tool he was working with and wiped his dirty hands on his pants.

"I-" Dean bit his lip. "I want to go with you. Get my stuff with you, you know?" Dean shrugged. Bobby sighed and nodded. "When are you leaving?"

"We can go now, if you want." Bobby jingled his keys in his hand. They walked out to the old pick up and got inside before driving down the block towards Dean's house. Dean's heart ached even more when he saw the Impala parked in the driveway and then saw Sam sitting with his back against the door of the car. He looked up when he saw Bobby's pickup. He instantly sat up when he realized Dean was inside. They got out and walked up towards the young boy.

"Dean!" Sam wrapped his arms around his brother. "Thank god you're back."

"Just to get my things, Sammy." Dean saw his brother frown. "How are you holding up?" he rubbed his brother's back before letting go of his and looking him in the face.

"I'm fine." Sam mumbled as he looked down to his feet. "I just want you to come back." Dean felt like a terrible brother, but things were rough and it was going to take a bit of time for him to come around again, if at all. He punched Sam in the arm playfully and walked past him up into the house with Bobby at his side. They walked into the house, not bothering to knock. Dean frantically searched the house and saw his mother who smiled sadly at her son.

"Hey mom." Dean said softly, letting his mother embrace him. "Dad's not here, is he?" He asked under his breath. She leaned her head on Dean's shoulder and shook it. Dean's whole body relaxed. "Good." He breathed in her scent. She wore the same perfume as always and it made him feel at ease. "Well, I should get going then. Bobby told you I was staying with him, right?" Dean's mother nodded. She wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes. "Sorry, mom."

"No, it's okay. I just wish you left on better terms. You're my baby boy. I am so sorry things came to this." She gave him another hug before leading him up the stairs. Bobby followed, while Sam sat at the kitchen table and watched the door nervously. "I packed up your things." Mary said once they got to the room. She really had packed up all of Dean's things. There were several boxes with clothes and objects stowed away in them. Dean sighed heavily and grabbed the first box.

"Thanks mom." Dean popped the box on his side and hugged his mom again, not letting go for some time. He wanted things to go back to the way they were, but it was hard when his own father hated him for who he loved. It took only a couple trips to get the boxes into the back of Bobby's pick up. When they returned for the last go through of Dean's side of the room, the roar of John's truck was heard in the driveway.

"Balls." Bobby grumbled. They all watched the front door as it opened and John stepped in, slamming it behind him. "John." Bobby held his hands up; trying to ease the tension he felt spilling off of John. John searched the room and saw Dean standing there, a bag in his hands.

"What the hell is all that stuff in the back of your truck, Bobby?" John asked harshly. He wouldn't take his glaring eyes off of Dean.

Dean gulped nervously. "That's my stuff." He managed to croak out. "I-Uh-"

"He's moving in with me, permanently." Bobby said matter-of-factly. He crossed his arms over his chest.

"The hell he is." John spit.

Mary spoke up. "John, he is over eighteen. Dean can leave home if he-"

"Shut up, Mary." John commanded his wife. The whole room went silent. She shut up instantly, not because of fear, but of sure surprise that her husband had silenced her. She placed her hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow at him.

"Excuse me?" Mary wasn't taking any of John's rude behavior.

"I said shut up, Mary." John growled. He stalked towards her, his feet heavy, and his temper at it's worse. Dean stood before his mother and protected her. He wasn't sure if his father would actually hit his mother, but he wouldn't put it past the man either, especially then when he smelled the whiskey on his father.

Bobby stepped in almost at the same moment Dean did to protect his mother. He pushed against John's chest and glowered at him. "Boy, I suggest you back it up." Bobby threatened. He was older than John, but that didn't mean he was powerless to the drunk. "Go sober up and then come back and act like a real man."

"Move out of my way, Bobby." John threatened. Then Bobby swung his leg under John's, knocking the younger to the hard ground. John groaned, trying to sit up, but Bobby grabbed the front of his shirt.

"I said sober up, John Winchester!" Bobby threw John back to the ground. He waited around until John got up and left the house, getting back in his truck and leaving. Dean let go of the breath he was holding in his burning lungs. He looked from his family to Bobby.

"Thanks, Bobby." Mary said, peeking out from behind Dean. She looked relieved that John left. "I think I can handle him from here on, though. Can you just take Sam?" Mary looked at her youngest son who was a mess of tears. Dean made his way over to Sam and held him close. He helped his brother to his feet. They made their way upstairs for Sam to pack a bag.

"You sure you'll be okay when he comes back?" Bobby asked, piling Sam into his pick up and looking back at Mary who stood in the doorway of the Winchester household. Dean had the keys to the Impala and was running his fingers over the steering wheel. Bobby had given Mary an envelope that Dean could only imagine was a sum of money for the car. He promised to pay Bobby back as soon as he could. In return Mary handed over the keys and the papers for the car. It was officially his.

"I'll be okay. I'll call you if I need any help." Mary promised. She waved as Bobby drove away and Dean left in the Impala. Dean looked into the rear view mirror and sighed. He was leaving his home behind, and nothing about that made him feel better.

- Present Time –

Castiel stayed silent as Dean poured everything about what happened out. He face was red with frustration. "Dean- I'm-"

"I left everything behind to come here, Cas. I don't want to fight about it. I just want to move on and love you until the end." Dean hooked his arms around Castiel and pulled him close.

"The end?" Castiel tilted his head to the side, not understanding Dean's words.

"Until the end of my days." Dean leaned forward and kissed Castiel with as much passion as he could muster. They only parted when a car on the street honked their horn at them. Dean looked into Castiel's deep blue eyes and sighed, his hot breath tickling Castiel's lips. "If I didn't have you in my life. I don't know what I would do."

Castiel melted into Dean and kissed him back. They pulled back and both smiled. Castiel could taste the vodka on Dean's lips. He hooked his arms around Dean and nuzzled his face into the crook of Dean's neck. "How about we go to your place. I'll drive the car." Castiel offered. Dean's eyes widened at the thought of Castiel driving the Impala, but he gave in knowing that the only place they could be together without any distractions was his apartment.

"Okay, let's go."


	6. Let's Listen to a Little Marvin Gaye

Castiel loved the taste of Dean. He whimpered under Dean's touch. He loved every second he was with the freckle boy. They hastily made their way up the stairs to the top floor where Dean's apartment was. The stripped up the last few steps, tumbling to the floor. Laughing, they got back up, mouths still connected in sloppy, drunken kisses. Dean reached for the hem of Castiel's shirt and pulled it over his head before they even got into the apartment. It took a few tries to key the door unlocked, but they were successful on the third try. Dean threw Castiel's shirt to the floor and worked on his own. Castiel hissed at him and wanted to do it himself.

"Let me." He demanded, playing with the fabric between his fingers. Dean attacked his neck with kissed, marking the area rough and then running his tongue over the abused area. Castiel pushed on his chest and made Dean take a step back and raise his arms so that he could get the shirt off and throw it to the floor. Their skin touched and everything seemed like it was on fire.

"Cas, I need you so bad." Dean clawed at his tanned lover. He pulled at the waist of his shorts and slipped his hand in without warning Castiel. Castiel gasped from the sudden intrusion, but breathed heavily from the pleasure he soon felt when Dean worked him in his hand.

"Ngh- Dean." Castiel palmed the front of Dean's tightening jeans. Dean moaned and pushed his hips foreword. "Bed- to the bed." Castiel said between hitched breaths. His legs were feeling weaker as Dean pumped him faster and his shorts now hung low on his hips, everything exposed. He suddenly felt Dean pushed him towards the wall. His back hit the drywall with a thud. Dean grabbed his thighs, momentarily taking his hands off of Castiel's cock. He propped Castiel against the wall and held him there, rubbing him roughly, but still sensually. "Ah, Dean- I'm- Ah." Castiel held onto Dean for dear life. He felt the heat rising in his system and knew he was about to explode from the frictions and motions Dean was performing on him.

Dean leaned forward, nipping at Castiel's ear lobe and kissing his sensitive skin. "Come for me, baby. Come in my hand. I want to feel you all over my palm." Those words caused it to happen. Castiel came hard into Dean's grasp. His legs stiffened and his toes curled. "That's right." Dean whispered. "Now time for round two." Dean smirked, lifting Castiel from the wall and carrying him over to the bed. He threw Castiel playfully to the mattress and admired the mess he made out of him.

"Come on, Dean." Castiel wiggled his body up the mattress and kicked his shoes off and shook his pants and briefs down his legs. He spread himself for Dean and waited for his boyfriend to get on with it and ravage him right then and there.

"Impatient?" Dean raised an eyebrow at Castiel and smirked. He kicked his own shoes and pants off, playing with the elastic waistband of his briefs. Castiel bit his lip looking at Dean and feeling himself growing hard again.

"You make me this way." Castiel whined, sitting up. His hand moved down to himself, wanting to be touched. If Dean was going to be a tease, he figured he would get off himself.

"Baby, don't." Dean hissed, pulling his briefs off and revealing his painfully engorged cock. "I can make you feel good. Don't do that." Dean climbed onto the bed and pushed Castiel back down onto the mattress. He took Castiel in his hand and worked him like before. "It doesn't take much for me to get you hard, does it?" Dean whispered into Castiel's ears, sending shivers through his body. Castiel knew that the alcohol in Dean's system was messing with him, but it made the act all the better. Dean never spoke such words to Castiel when they were together. There were the usual spoken words, but they didn't need their words to express their love, only their bodies. Dean was being talkative in his drunken, sex crazed state, and Castiel loved the filth that dripped from his lover's lips. "Dean-"

"Ready for me?" Dean asked, spitting into his hand. Castiel's eyes widened when he figure out that Dean was just going to go for it. Oh god was it going to hurt. Dean slicked himself up, using his own saliva and positioned himself. Castiel cringed, waiting for it. It wasn't going to go far with not lube.

"Dean, you better get that lube or your going to kill me." Castiel said harshly before Dean went any father. He pointed to the small bottle that was only a reach away. He heard Dean groan in compliance.

"Sorry, forgot." Dean huffed. The warming liquid was applied and Dean made sure Castiel was ready, rubbing his fingers against Castiel's core. "Baby, I wouldn't hurt you, ever." Dean kissed Castiel's nose, the smell of vodka slowly disappeared. Castiel sighed and wrapped his arms around Dean's shoulder and pulled him down so that their foreheads connected. Dean kissed him slowly while pushing himself inside.

Castiel gasped, opening his mouth and taking more of Dean in. Their tongue mixed, slick against each other. Dean rolled his hips, moving himself deeper still. Castiel felt his muscles contracting and wrapping around Dean's length. The thought of using a condom did cross Castiel's mind from time to time, but half the time they were so busy in the moment that neither of them figured it to be worth it. Also. Castiel knew Dean was safe, just as Dean knew he was. They wanted to be together, really together with nothing between them.

"Cas, I'm gonna-" Castiel could feel that Dean was close to the edge. Castiel had already came once and was feeling the familiar burning in his gut again, but Dean hadn't had the chance since they first started to fool around.

"I want to taste you." Castiel said suddenly, his words shocked him and he quickly covered his face, embarrassed. "I mean- I-" Castiel stopped talking when Dean pulled out of him and held his straining cock in his hand. Dean looked from himself; face flushed, and then raised his sight to look at Castiel.

"I don't know when I'm-" Dean twitched and groaned as he started to come into his hand. Castiel sat up and leaned over Dean, placing his mouth over Dean's cock between spurts. He tasted Dean and swallowed, loving the saltiness that Dean emitted. Once last jerk and Dean was done, all of his contents spilled into Castiel's mouth. Castiel licked his lips when he pulled away and look up at Dean. Dean chuckled and looked exhausted. He looked down at Castiel and laughed even harder. "I guess you don't need any help." He said, pointing down at Castiel's manhood.

"What?" Castiel sat back on the bed and looked at himself. He didn't realize it, but he was so lost in the euphoric moment that he let himself go and now Dean's sheets were covered in sweat and other bodily fluids. "Sorry." He blushed. "I'll clean this up. I'm sorry." Castiel grabbed for the sheets and Dean held his hand down.

"Don't be sorry, Cas. You were great." Dean smiled and leaned in for a kiss. "I love you." He said softly. "So much. I really do." Dean caressed Castiel's cheek and kissed him once more. "We can clean up together. Come on. Let's take a shower." Dean got up form the bed, bringing Castiel with him. They padded across the floor towards the small bathroom. Dean reached into the shower and turned the water one, steam billowed out onto the tiles and Castiel stepped in first. The shower was small, but they had been so close before that this was nothing different. Dean stepped in after and hooked his arms around Castiel, bringing him under the heat of the water.

After a few moments of silence, Castiel spoke up. "I'm sorry for reading that letter." Dean's arms around him tightened. "And that I broke up your family."

"I forgive you." Dean said, placing his chin on Castiel's shoulder. He released one arm around Castiel and grabbed a bar of soap. He rubbed it gently against Castiel's skin and kissed the area once it was clean.

"Dean, I love you. You're too good for me." Castiel turned to face Dean. He paced his hands against Dean's chest and sighed. Dean hooked a finger under his chin and forced him to look up.

"We're too good for each other. So let's just stay like this forever." Dean kissed Castiel playfully before squeezing some shampoo onto his hand and running it through his hair and creating a sudsy Mohawk. "And hey, I'm a hunk and your gorgeous. We belong together. Pretty people have pretty kids, right?" Castiel looked up and couldn't stifle his laughter. Dean's grinning face was amusing.

"Dean, we're both men. We cannot have children." Castiel wiped water from his eyes and then ran his hands through Dean's hair, rinsing the shampoo away. Dean was silent for a moment before he took Castiel's face in between his hands and kissed him. The suds tasted funny, but Castiel ignored them and kissed Dean back.

When they pulled away, the look in Dean's green eyes was serious. "I wouldn't mind having kids with you one day. Even if it's just adoption." He watched Castiel's face for an answer, or any sort of compliance with his thoughts. "Cas?"

"You- You want to have kids with me?" Castiel, disbelief laced in his voice. Having children never crossed his young mind. He was living in the moment while Dean was living for the future.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, Cas." He smiled nervously and helped wet Castiel's hair so he could wash it. "I mean- I want to m-" Dean stopped himself, knowing his thoughts were way too far advanced.

"Want to what, Dean?" Castiel's heart was pounding in his chest. His world was spinning and Dean was the anchor he held onto.

"Marry you one day." Dean blushed. He held onto Castiel and wanted to know everything he was thinking. Was he shocked? Was he angry? What was he thinking in that strange mind of his? "Cas?" Even through the streams of water rippling down over his lover's body, Dean could see the tears flowing freely. "Please don't cry. I'm just thinking about things too much. Just ignore me. I-"

"No, that's not it." Castiel rubbed his eyes, but the tears kept coming. He smiled through the constant tears and grabbed onto Dean. He trembled, but not from sadness, but from overwhelming happiness.

"What is it, Cas?"

"I'd like that." Castiel said, looking up into Dean's green eyes with his red tinged blue eyes. "I'd love it actually."

Relief swept through Dean. "R-Really?" He couldn't believe his ears.

"I would love to marry you and have children with you, Dean Winchester."


	7. How's It Going, Sammy?

"Yeah, dad's still being weird, but I guess things are better. Bobby's been showing me some stuff with cars. It's not as interesting as you said it would be." Sam mumbled into his phone. Dean had bought him the phone before he left for San Francisco so that they could keep each other updated.

_"I should get you out here, Sam. The weather is awesome. You'd love it here."_

Sam smiled into his phone. He missed his brother terribly, but was happy that Dean had gotten away when he had the chance. "That'd be cool." The wind whipped up and blew Sam's long hair into his face. He really needed a haircut after not doing anything with it all summer. He swore he could get a small ponytail out of it, but he wasn't going to try. "It's definitely Fall here." Sam said, cursing at the wind as it chilled the air. It was Monday afternoon and he was walking home after school let out. He didn't have Dean to pick him up from school anymore. Things really changed after Dean left.

_"Doing okay in school?" _ Dean asked.

"Yeah, A's in all my classes." Sam smiled proudly. School was never Dean's thing, but it was definitely Sam's. Sam watched his footing on the cracked pavement. He held his phone close to his ear to block out the noisy wind. A car pulled up to the side of the road and honked its horn. Sam looked up and saw that it was Gabriel.

"Hey, need a ride, Sam?" Gabriel asked, leaning his head out of his car window.

"_Who's that, Sammy?"_

"No one. I got to go." Sam hastily snapped his phone shut and pocketed it. He ran up to Gabriel's car and got inside. This had happened before when Gabriel was on his way back from his classes at the local community college. It was happening more and more lately, which led Sam to believe that Gabriel was driving around on purpose so that he could give Sam a ride home. The thought made Sam blush.

"Thanks, Gabriel…" Sam clicked his seatbelt and Gabriel took his foot off the break, slowly moving the car foreword. "Uh- do you think we could go to your place instead?" Sam hoped the answer would be yes. He didn't want to go home quite yet. He would usually stay at the library after school, but he heard of an oncoming storm and didn't want to walk home in the rain.

"Uh, yeah sure." Gabriel looked nervous. He turned a street and headed back to the other side of town where he lived. "Everything alright, Sam?" Gabriel rolled his car over the train tracks that ran through town. They were half way there.

"Yeah. I just don't want to go home." Sam pulled at the sleeves of his thick down pat his hands. Gabriel pursed his lips. He was worried about Sam, but knew that the younger boy didn't want to talk about anything. They rode and silence until Gabriel pulled his car into his driveway and parked it in the garage.

"Don't you need to tell your parents?" Gabriel spoke up as they entered the house. Gabriel was relieved that neither his mother nor father was there. It would be hard to explain why he was bringing home a boy that was much younger than him. Sure, he liked Sam, but he wouldn't act on his attraction. Sam was too young, and well, that wouldn't settle well in society.

"I texted my mom." Sam lied. He sat down with a huff on the couch. Gabriel sat down next to him and held up the remote. "I don't mind what we watch." Sam mumbled. He leaned his head back against the back of the couch and closed his eyes. Gabriel looked over and gulped hard when he saw Sam's neck, bare and exposed.

_No, Gabriel. You can't even think about doing anything with this kid… He's like twelve._ Gabriel shook his head and changed the channel. He left it on some gold mining show and got up form the couch. Sam looked at him questioningly. "I'm sure you're hungry. I always was when I came home after school." Gabriel grinned and patted his stomach. "I have all kinds of food in the kitchen. You hungry?"

Sam nodded and got up from the couch. He got up too quickly and winced, rubbing his back. "Ow…" He groaned.

Gabriel was at his side in moments. "Hey, you alright?" Gabriel placed a hand on Sam's back and held him steady. Sam nodded quickly and stood up straight. He blew out of a pained breath. "Are you hurt?" Gabriel asked, grabbing he fabric of Sam's sweatshirt and lifting it.

"I'm fine!" Sam pushed Gabriel away. He was shocked at his own motions and apologized completely. "I-I'll go. Sorry." Sam picked up his backpack from the floor and slung it over his shoulder. He winced again as his bag hit his back, but he brushed it off and began walking towards the door. Gabriel stood in shock and watched as Sam walked out the front door and shut it behind him. It took Gabriela few minutes to collect his thoughts. He heard the pitter patter of rain on the windows of his house and groaned.

"That kid's going to get sick in this weather." Gabriel grabbed his keys and his coat before leaving his house behind and getting into his car. Sam was already pretty far down the road when Gabriel pulled up next to him and slowed his car down to a crawl. "Sam, get in the car." Gabriel whined. The rain was coming down harder.

"Are you going to take me home?" Sam looked up, still walking. Gabriel gave in and nodded. He stopped the car and Sam stood outside of the vehicle in the rain.

"Come on, Sam." Gabriel pleaded with the younger boy. "You're getting soaked. Get in the car before I leave you here." Gabriel wouldn't actually leave Sam there on the side of the road in the rain, but he had to say something to get Sam back into the car. Sam obliged when a clap of thunder sounded overhead. He shivered when he got into the car and Gabriel turned the heat on high.

"I-I don't want you to take me home." Sam said. He looked up, his eyes pleading. His sweatshirt was soaked through and he looked like a drowned dog with his mess of hair stuck to his face.

"Alright." Gabriel reached into the backseat and grabbed his coat. He threw it at Sam. "Change out of that before you get sick." Gabriel quickly turned his car around and made his way back to his house. He glanced over when Sam pulled his sweatshirt over his head and his shirt came up with it. Sam's back and side were covered in bruises, some looked new and other were yellow and green tinted from healing. Sam quickly pulled his shirt down and pulled Gabriel's coat on. It was a good fit for Sam at the time; he and Gabriel were about the same size.

"Thanks." Sam said, wiping his wet hair from his face.

"Is that why you don't want to go home?" Gabriel asked, fearing Sam's bruises were the reason.

"What?" Sam looked shocked.

"Those bruises… If you're dad-" Gabriel was cut off by Sam frantically trying to set things straight.

"No! My dad wouldn't- well he would- but he didn't. I got in a fight with some jerks at school." Sam flailed his arms in the air. "If I go home, my parents are going to yell at me. The principal probably already called them." Sam grumbled. He looked up at Gabriel who looked so relieved. "What's with that look?"

"Just glad, you know, that it's not some family trouble. Parents beating up their kids." Gabriel shivered at the thought. Sam nodded in compliance. They sat in silence until Gabriel pulled into his driveway and pushed the button for the garage to open. "So who are the jerks?" Gabriel asked, genuinely interested.

"This guy named Azazel. He's a Junior." Sam quickly hopped out of the car, bringing his things with him. Gabriel did the same and they walked inside. This time they went straight for the kitchen. Sam sat at one of the bar stools and swiveled on the seat. "He said some stuff about Dean and I punched him in the face."

Gabriel couldn't stifle his laughter. "I knew you had that Winchester attitude. You're too calm half the time, I almost forget your Dean's little brother." Gabriel chuckled.

"I'm not little." Sam spoke, a blush creeping onto his cheeks. "I'm fourteen."

"Well, compared to me, you're little." Gabriel chuckled some more and patted Sam on the shoulder before walking off to the fridge and pulling out some jelly. He walked over to the cabinets and pulled out some bread and some peanut butter. "PBJs?" He looked over to Sam who was sitting silently and fiddling his thumbs. "Sammy?"

"Does that bother you?" Sam suddenly asked. Gabriel stood back and pursed his lips. Sam looked up, his face flushed red. "That I am so young, and you're much older?"

"Uh-" Gabriel couldn't form words. He wasn't the only one thinking about whatever was between them, if it was anything. "Sam- I-" Gabriel set his jars and bread down on the counter and sighed. He rubbed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Forget I said anything." Sam mumbled. He dropped his head into his hands and sighed heavily. Gabriel groaned and walked over to Sam. He stood there until Sam looked up, tears prickling the edges of his eyes. "Huh?"

Gabriel leaned in, placing his hands on either side of Sam's face. "I'm probably going to go to jail for this." He nervously laughed and pressed his lips to Sam's. Sam was shocked as first, not knowing exactly what to do, He just applied pressure on his side and that was it. Gabriel pulled back and ran his thumb over Sam's cheek to wipe away the tears. "That wasn't your first kiss, was it?" Gabriel breathed heavily. Sam nodded, squeezing his eyes shut from embarrassment. "Oh…." Gabriel felt like such a cradle robber. "Sorry-" He pulled away, but Sam lunged forward, getting up from his seat and grabbed onto Gabriel, forcing his lips on the older boy.

"And that was my second." Sam said smugly. Gabriel rolled his eyes and let his hands fall to Sam's sides. He was gentle as to not hit the bruises.

"I think I can handle jail." Gabriel smirked, kissing Sam deeply.


	8. It Was Nothing

It had been a couple days since Dean's proposal in the shower, or at least Castiel thought it was a proposal. Maybe it was an ultimatum? Castiel didn't want to ruin what they were having though. He wanted to stay this way forever. Lying in Dean's arms and listening to Dean's favorite bands over the tapes that he had. Castiel laughed at the thought of Dean's tapes. He offered to let Dean borrow his mp3 player and download whichever music he wanted onto it, but Dean refused, saying that the tape captured the "true sound."

"Mmmm, Cas?" Dean wiggled on the small bed in Castiel's dorm. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's body and pulled him close. Castiel looked up at him and reveled in all that was Dean. His eyes, his freckles, his jaw line that Castiel loved to place kisses on, his strong arms, his scent. "Cas?" Dean said again once Castiel's eyes fell back to their original closed position.

"Yes?" Castiel rolled over and pressed his back to Dean's front. He lazily reached for his phone and groaned. He had several missed calls from Gabriel. Castiel dropped his phone to the floor and snuggled closer to Dean. Eye of the Tiger started playing from the speakers of Dean's small stereo and they both started to laugh, remembering the time Dean serenaded Castiel when they took a trip in the Impala. "Gabriel keeps calling me." Castiel mumbled.

"How come?" Dean sat up, bringing Castiel with him. They both rubbed their necks and stretched.

"Not sure. I'll call him later." Castiel shrugged. His dorm room bed was small, but when it came to Castiel's being on time to his classes the next morning after being with Dean, he preferred his own room on campus. It was a lot easier to wake up and take a ten-minute walk to his class rather than a thirty-minute drive from Dean's apartment. Also, Dean's job was in between the apartment and campus, so staying with Castiel wasn't that big of a deal either. "How's Sam, by the way? I heard you talking on the phone with him earlier." Castiel didn't like to pry, but Dean had been so open about his family before that he didn't see then as a problem.

"He's busy with school. I think he's got a girlfriend." Dean smirked. Castiel understood Dean's approval. He always wanted a normal life for his little brother. "But enough about back home." Dean leaned in and nuzzled his face against Castiel's neck before placing a delicate kiss on Castiel's tanned skin. He watched as goose bumps rise on Castiel's flesh and his smirk deepened. "I'm here with you. Let's think about that." Dean whispered, kissing Castiel again.

Castiel glanced towards the door and gulped. Balthazar wasn't in the room at the moment, but he could return at any time. "Dean, we can't-" Castiel trembled under Dean's touch as his lover lowered him down to the small bed.

"Don't worry. I told him to go to Meg's for a while. We've got time." Dean worked his lips over the skin of Castiel's neck. He ran his hands down the front of Castiel's shirt and lifted the fabric at the end, bringing it up and over his head. He threw Castiel's shirt to the ground and continued his onslaught of tiny pecks from his lips. Dean's tongue grazed over Castiel's pink nub of a nipple.

"Ah, Dean." Castiel ran his fingers through Dean's hair and grabbed what short hair he could. Dean lapped his tongue over Castiel's erect nipple and teased by grazing his teeth over the sensitive flesh. "Ah, F-…" Castiel grinded his hips forward into Dean's. "Well?" He said impatiently.

"Needy tonight, aren't you?" Dean said darkly. His words made Castiel shiver.

"Yes. We haven't since you-" Castiel stopped mid sentence. He bit his bottom lip and held it between his teeth. His cheeks were bright red as he thought to Dean's words. _Marry you..._

"Since I what?" Dean stopped his attack and held himself up with his arms on either side of Castiel's slightly smaller frame. He looked down at Castiel, his expression showed that he was confused at Castiel's embarrassment.

"You know…" Castiel turned his head to the side and mumbled. "Since you proposed to me." He waited for Dean's response. He waited for Dean to take him in his arms. He waited for the moment that they would make love like they had done before, but this time it would be different somehow. But, that moment never came. Dean stayed silent. He even went as far as moving away from Castiel and sitting back against the wall with his face in his hands. Castiel sat up and frantically searched for a reason why Dean was acting so strange.

"Shit." Dean hissed as he smacked his face a few times. "Shit Cas, I didn't-"

Castiel's heart dropped. "You didn't what? You didn't mean it?" He feared the worst, just like he always did. "Dean?" Castiel crawled forward on the bed and pulled Dean's hands away from his face. Dean's green eyes avoided contact.

"Yeah. No. I mean-" Dean struggled to find the words. "I meant that if we're still together, you know in like, I don't know, ten years? I didn't mean-" Dean groaned and placed his hands back into his hands. "This is all a big mess."

"What do you mean _if_ we're still together?"Castiel always thought of them being in for the long run. That it would always be Dean and Cas. Dean and Cas always.

"Shit. Cas, don't overthink this. It was a spur of the moment thing. " Dean dropped his hands, emphasizing his point. "I love you. So much that you don't even know. Let's just drop this, okay? It was nothing." Dean tried to end the stressful conversation by going in for the kiss, but Castiel pulled away.

"I- I thought-" Castiel shook his head. He pressed his hands against Dean's chest. He felt like he was going to be sick. He looked into Dean's emerald eyes and saw the sorrow in them. He brought a shaky hand to his mouth to hold back whatever was crawling its way up his throat. "I think I am going to be sick." Castiel said quickly, jumping from his bed, nearly tripping over items discarded on his floor, and running out of bedroom. He ran as quickly as he could towards the bathroom that the floor shared down the hall. He skidded into one of the two stalls that were next to the urinals and held his head above the toilet and heaved.

Nothing.

He heaved again.

Nothing.

His knuckles turned white as he gripped the sides of the toilet tightly. He felt the sickness there, in the pit of his stomach all the way up to the knot in his throat. Why wasn't anything happening. Then, after a moment of clarity, Castiel knew what was going on.

_ "Calm down, Cassie. Baby, you're having a panic attack." _Castiel could hear the words of his mother soothing him._ "Everything will be alright." _ He wished his mother was there to rub his back and make all the ill feelings drift away, but instead he was dry heaving over a toilet and dreading going back into his own room because of how he left Dean in there.

"Calm down, Castiel." Castiel took in a deep breath and looked up to the person standing behind in at the opening of the stall. "Come on." The blue eyed wonder smiled down at his roommate and extended his hand. Castiel took it and let Balthazar lift him from the ground next to the toilet. Dean stood behind Balthazar, staying eerily silent and distant.

"Is he going to be alright?" Dean spoke, his voice barely audible. He was glad that Balthazar had ignored Dean's bribes to keep him out of the room. The guy showed up just in time.

Balthazar nodded, leading his stressed roommate back to the room. "You should have seen him during exams." He chuckled, pushing the door open with his foot and leading Castiel inside. They sat Castiel down on his bed and stood there silently until Dean broke the tension.

"I should go." He said, motioning towards the door. Before he could grab his wallet and keys, Castiel grabbed the fabric of his pants and tugged. "Cas?"

"Sorry." Castiel breathed evenly. He gazed at the floor and still held onto Dean's pants. "Sorry." He repeated.

Dean sighed heavily and kneeled in front of Castiel. He took Castiel's face in his hands and gave him a sad look. "Hey, I'm gonna go, but I'll be back tomorrow, yeah?" Castiel let out a shaky breath, but nodded. "Hey." Dean caught his lover's attention once more. "Ten times more, and that means I'm in it for the long run, okay?" He placed a swift kiss on Castiel's lips and stood up before turning on his feet and brushing past Balthazar.

He closed the door with a little more force than was necessary. Balthazar glanced over to Castiel and let out an uneasy breath through his teeth. "Are you going to be alright?" He asked as Castiel groaned and fell, face first, down to his bed. "I will take that as a maybe."

Dean kicked a can he found on the sidewalk until he saw a trashcan to throw it into. He found his way to his car in a huff. Sitting inside, he slammed his palms to the steering wheel. "I'm a real fuck up. Why can't anything I do turn out right?" He asked himself, his voice shaky. He held the steering wheel tightly, trying to calm himself down before he made his drive back to his apartment. "Damn that guy." Dean cursed, referring to Balthazar. "How can he-when I can't?" Dean thought about how Balthazar could get Castiel to settle down so quickly when all he could do was freak out. The answer was clear when Dean let it settle into his brain. Dean had only spent a small amount of time with Castiel compared to Balthazar.

Sure, his time with Castiel meant so much more, well, at least he thought it did. After seeing how Castiel reacted to Balthazar when he showed up and knew how to handle the situation, Dean started to think about it differently. Balthazar was slowly replacing him. Did Castiel trust his roommate more than his boyfriend? What was going on? Why was he so upset about the marriage thing?

_Spur of the moment. It was nothing._

_It was nothing._

"Dammit. Why did I say that?" Dean turned the ignition and revved the engine and spun out of the small parking lot he managed to find relatively close to Castiel's dorm. He quickly got on the main road and ignored the fact that he was going over the speed limit. The load engine of his precious car drowned out his thoughts. Fortunately for him, he made it back to his apartment in one piece. He grumpily made his way up the stairs to the top of the building where his apartment was. Halfway up, on the second floor, Dean nearly ran into the back of a larger guy.

The guy turned around and Dean recognized him as the barista from the coffee shop that Castiel knew. "I didn't know you lived here… Ben, was it?" Dean had never met his downstairs neighbor and figured out why. The guy was a student and he worked mornings where Dean was the opposite, working late days.

"Dean?" Benny looked surprised, but gave a genuine smile. "Call me Benny, brother. I take it you live upstairs?" He pointed up towards the ceiling and Dean nodded. He liked the barista. Benny seemed normal. "I've been wondering who lived up there."

"Yeah. Moved in not too long ago." Dean said proudly. "The place still needs some furniture though." Dean chuckled, thinking about his lonely mattress sitting on the floor. "I'll get around to it."

Benny chuckled along with Dean and then cleared his throat. "I hope this doesn't sound strange, brother, but you look like you need a drink." He opened his door. "You're welcome inside." Benny stepped into his apartment and Dean stood outside the door for a second. "I've got whiskey." Benny laughed at Dean's face when it lit up at the word.

"Some whiskey sounds good right about now." Dean stepped into the apartment.


	9. Dean Will Murder You

Dean leaned into his newly found friend. "Man, I just-" He inhaled deeply. "You know what Benny-boy?" Dean clapped his hand down on Benny's shoulder. "I just love him, okay?" He took another swig from the whiskey in his glass. "I just really love him." Dean looked around Benny's apartment. It was larger than his own with an extra room that Dean believed to be Benny's bedroom. i_Lucky bastard. /i_ Dean grumbled, his thoughts clouded by a drunken haze.

Benny nodded at Dean's constant confession about how much he loved Castiel. "I hear ya, brother." He sipped his own drink, downing the whiskey. "I wish I had someone that loved me as-" He hiccupped. "-as much as you love Cas." Benny's face was flushed from the large intake of alcohol. Dean's was the same.

"You got a girl?" Dean asked, sitting back against the couch. "Is she hot? I bet she's got a nice body." Dean chuckled.

"I thought you were gay." Benny set his glass down on the coffee table. He was done for the night. He looked at Dean with an expression of confusion.

"Hey, I can appreciate both." Dean shrugged. The two laughed loudly until Benny stood up from the couch.

"Listen brother, you don't have to worry about Balt." Benny took Dean's glass out of his hands, receiving a frown in return. He picked his own glass up from the coffee table and took them over to his small kitchen. "Balthazar's a good guy."

"That's the problem!" Dean groaned. "He's the i_good guy./i" _He sighed. "Better than me, that's for sure."

"You can make it through this Dean. You should have heard that little guy. Dean this-Dean that- North Carolina this- Kansas that- Dean?" Benny leaned over and peered at Dean who had slumped against the back of the couch, snoring. Benny chuckled and pushed Dean so that he was lying down and wouldn't hurt his neck by sleeping sitting up. He rolled his eyes and smiled before pulling a throw blanket over Dean and turning the light off before leaving the room.

An annoying buzz under Dean's head woke him up the next morning. He squeezed his eyes shut, but the buzzing continued. His eyes then shot open. The annoying buzzing had to be his phone. A call? "SHIT!" Dean shot up from the couch he was sleeping on and checked the time on his watch. It was past one o' clock in the afternoon. He needed to be at work at twelve thirty. He found his cell phone underneath the pillow he had his head on. His phone continued to ring and he lunched for it, answering it quickly.

"Hey! Hey! Rufus! Hey, Sorry! I didn't set an alarm. I'll be right over. Give me no more than ten minutes. Sorry." Dean snapped his phone shut and groaned. He was the note on the table and picked it up. i_Went to work. Lock up when you leave. –Benny. /i _Dean figure Benny had already left for work. Dean turned the lock on his way out and ran up the stairs to his own apartment. Once inside he changed his clothes and brushed his teeth at least three times to get rid of the whiskey after taste.

It was his first time being late to work and promised himself he would never do that again. He needed that job to keep living in San Francisco with Castiel. He knew he would hear from Bobby about being late. The man practically got him the job after all. Dean groaned in pain from his hangover headache as he started up the Impala.

It was going to be a long day.

Castiel made his way to his two o' clock class. It was Tuesday, which meant he had art history, his favorite class. It was basically a bunch of memorization and he liked that. Things weren't complicated. There was no gray area. It was strictly just the history of art. Something was would continue to be constant because there was no changing the past.

Changing the past.

Castiel wished he didn't say anything about what he thought Dean's loving words about marriage meant. He wished he would have just kept his mouth shut and not said a word. If he had, everything would have been okay and he would be talking on the phone with his boyfriend and thinking up plans of what to do later that night. But that was Castiel. He was a curious guy. He wanted to know how Dean felt so he could adjust himself to fit those feelings so he didn't lose the love of his life.

He thought that since Dean said that he would see him the next day that they would get their Tuesday coffee, but when Castiel waited at the coffee shop on campus that morning, Dean never showed up. Now it was nearing two in the afternoon and he still hadn't heard a word from Dean. He sighed and neared the building his classroom was in. Before going inside and taking a seat, Castiel decided to call his brother. Gabriel had called several times the day before and Castiel got too caught up in everything to call him back. He pulled his phone out, checking for any messages from Dean first, and then dialed his brother's number.

It rang a few times before the familiar voice answered. "_Cas, thank god. Finally you got back to me."_ Gabriel sounded exhausted.

"What's the matter?" Castiel leaned against the brick wall right outside his classroom. He had about ten minutes to spare before class started. "Is everything okay?" Castiel figured he would be revealing all of his troubles to his brother, not the other way around.

_"Is Dean around?" _ Gabriel asked.

"Erm- No he is not." Castiel frowned, looking around in hopes that miraculously Dean showed up to sweep him off his feet. "Gabriel, what is going on?" There was a short silence.

_" I kissed Sam."_

Castiel's eyes widened. He wasn't expecting anything like that to come from his brother. "Sam? As in Sam Winchester? As in Dean's little brother?" Castiel checked his watch, five more minutes.

_"The kid is nuts about me, Cas. I don't know what to do."_ It was strange for Gabriel to be asking for Castiel's advice._ "It was never my intention to-" _

"Gabriel, how old is Sam again?" Castiel's eyebrows furrowed in concentration. He knew Sam was in high school, but couldn't think of the grade. He didn't spend much time with Dean's family, really no time at all.

_"Four-Fourteen."_ Gabriel's voice faltered._ "I'm a terrible person. Why does that kid have to like me, of all people?" _Gabriel groaned on his side of the line.

Castiel pinched the bridge of his nose and heavily sighed. "Dean doesn't know?" Of course he didn't. Dean would be on the next flight back to North Carolina to beat the crap out of Gabriel.

_"No."_

"Then you should end it. Whatever it is. Dean will murder you. I would very much like to continue having a brother other than Michael." Castiel dropped his hand from his face and rubbed in onto his pant leg. "I have to go now. My class is about to start. Uh, keep me up to date?" Castiel waited for the agreeing sigh from his brother and said his goodbye. He was going to wait until another day to tell Gabriel about all of the marriage drama that was never meant to get out of hand. Even the thought of it made Castiel's chest tighten. He already suffered an anxiety attack and he didn't want another one.

Castiel turned his phone on silent and placed it in the side pocket of his bag. He ventured into the classroom and sat near the front, but not in the front row. There was no one he knew in the class, but sitting alone was nothing knew. There were only two out of his six classes that he knew people in, which were English with Meg and his Biology class with Benny. He was glad no one sat next to him in his Art History class. That meant that he could pay attention to the presentation and take more effective notes on the slides.

Castiel situated himself and pulled out a notebook and a pen before the instructor stepped into the classroom and shut the door roughly in his wake. "Hello class." He chimed in a deep British accent. The presentation started and Castiel watched at the shorter man walked back and forth across the front of the room and pointed out the types of artwork that was going to be on the exam. Out of the corner of Castiel's eye he saw his phone light up. When there was a short break in his instructor's presentations he pulled the phone out of his side pocket and quickly checked the screen. He hoped it to be Dean, but no luck. It was just his mother asking how his day way so far.

"Something interesting on that little, bright screen of yours?" Castiel snapped his phone shut and gulped.

"Sorry, Mr. Crowley." Castiel pocketed his phone and returned to his notes.

"As I was saying before that little interruption…" Crowley continued, pointing out different aspects of the Carravagio painting they were taking a look at. Castiel lowered in his seat as to not be noticed by anyone else. The class time dwindled down to the last few minutes and everyone started to pack up. Before Crowley could stop Castiel from leaving, like he usually did to talk to the young student, Castiel made his way out of the classroom swiftly.

His stomach grumbled and he realized he hadn't eat since the day before and had only drank a cup of coffee that morning to keep himself going throughout the day. His stomach growled loudly again before he pulled out his phone to see if anyone would join him for food. First things first, he called Dean. To his surprise, Dean answered.

_"Hey babe. I'm at work. I can't really talk." _Dean said quickly. Castiel sighed with relief. Dean wasn't ignoring him he was merely working. Castiel really needed to get Dean's schedule memorized, but it changed form week to week depending on if he was needed or not.

"Oh, okay. I was going to ask if you wanted to get food, but well, work." Castiel tried to sound light hearted, but deep down he was sad Dean was working. He really wanted to talk things out and get back on track.

_"I get off at five, we can grab food then?" _Dean asked. Sounds of the mechanic shop he worked at were loud in the background. _"Call me then. I can come pick you up. I gotta go."_ Before Castiel could say goodbye and 'I love you,' Dean hung up. Castiel sighed loudly and figured he could wait another couple hours to eat if he snacked on something back in his dorm. He turned away from his direction to the student union and smiled when he saw Balthazar and Meg.

"Hey there, Clarence." Meg smiled. Castiel rolled his eyes and stood in front of his two friends. "Where were you heading? We're off to the student union to get some food."

"I was going to the union too, but I decided to go back to the dorm instead." Castiel stared at his feet. He really did just want to go back to his room and wait out the rest of the day, but there was also a nagging feeling in his gut that said he needed to actually hang out with people other than Dean. Meg and Balthazar were those people. "But, since you two are going there I can join you." He looked up and saw the two of them smiling. They hooked their arms around him and walked him off towards the union.

"So, Clarence-" Castiel huffed in annoyance. "Yeah, yeah. I know, you're name isn't Clarence." Meg snickered. "But anyways, there is this beach bon fire party coming up are you going?"

Balthazar burst out laughing. "Cas wouldn't go even if you bribed him! He won't go to the beach. I've asked him multiple times." Balthazar recalled the times he asked Castiel to go with him to the beach and chill out. Castiel declined each time.

"I don't like the water." Castiel stated.

"Good thing, because it's on the beach. You know, the part with the sand." Meg took her arm away and looked at Castiel, her thin eyebrows raised. "So how about it, angel-boy?"

"I guess it wouldn't hurt." Castiel mumbled as they approached the union doors. Standing just beyond the glass was a familiar large guy with a blonde beard and a pageboy hat placed on his head. He looked up and gave an award-winning smile. Castiel walked up to him. "How are things, Benny?"

"Hey Castiel. Saw your boyfriend last night. The guy's pretty torn up over you." Benny gave an unsure look to his shorter friend. Castiel shook his head in confusion, not know how or why Benny saw Dean the night before. The two had only met once, briefly, at the coffee shop Benny worked at. "Oh right, he's my upstairs neighbor."

"Oh. I see." Castiel looked back at Balthazar and Meg, who were standing there listening. Benny knew Balthazar, but Meg was someone new. "This is Meg Masters." He introduced them. Meg stepped forward. Her eyes were dark and fierce. They shook hands and Benny couldn't keep his eyes off of the short girl. When Castiel cleared his throat, Benny returned his attention back to his friend.

"But yeah, Dean stopped by and we had a couple drinks. No harm done." Benny raised his hands in defense, making sure he had no ill intentions. "The guy loves you, you know."

"I know. I do too." Castiel bit his lip. "Love him too, I mean."

There was a comfortable silence between the two until Meg spoke up. "Well, not that this conversation is sickly sweet," She stuck her tongue out. "-but I need food." She hooked arms with Benny and pulled him along.


	10. Solutions and Problems

Five o' clock right on the dot, Castiel called Dean. Dean answered in a hurry. _"Couldn't wait, I see." _There was a hint of cockiness in his voice. It was something that sent shivers down Castiel's spine. _"Are you on campus?" _Castiel mumbled a yes and Dean spoke again. _"Which building are you at?"_

"I am at the union. I can walk back to my dorm if you would like." Castiel offered, but he could hear Dean's car roar to life in the background. He was already on his way. At least Dean seemed like he was in a good mood. That was a relief. Castiel worried that all of his uncertainties about his relationship with Dean would get the best of them.

_"I'll be there in a bit. Stay where you are, babe."_ The line went dead after that and Castiel smiled. He said his goodbyes to his friends and stood at the student union entrance closest to the road where Dean would pull up on to pick him up. Within fifteen minutes Dean was parked on the side of the road, his face smudged with some grease and smelling heavily of oil. Castiel's nose wrinkled, but he got into the car anyways.

"Hey Dean." Castiel said softly, staring at his lap. The last time he saw Dean he was freaking out and being comforted by another guy. The silence grew and they both broke it at the same time, apologizing to one another. "I'm sorry."

"No, I mean, I should say sorry for just leaving like that." Dean shook his head.

"Dean, I was the one who had a melt down."

"With every reason to." Dean leaned over, even though he smelled like nasty oil, Castiel let him get close. Dean grazed Castiel's cheek with his lips. "I'm sorry for confusing you with everything I say. I don't know why you stay with me." Dean said softly, rustling the small hair on Castiel's neck with his breath.

Castiel let out a deep breath. He turned to face Dean and held his grease-covered face in between his hands. "Because you stay with me." He placed a small peck on Dean's lips and pulled back. "You need a shower."

Dean laughed. "I do, but you know-" He ran his hand over a small patch of filth on his pant leg. He swiped his hand quickly onto Castiel and fell back against his seat in laughter. "You need one now as well."

"Good we can shower together before dinner." Castiel smirked. He watched Dean's laughing subside as the boy cleared his throat. He looked over at Castiel, his cheeks flushed.

"So we're okay?" Dean asked, hopeful that he hadn't messed up too badly.

"I would say yes." Castiel nodded.

"Good because you're the only think I am absolutely sure about in this world." Dean revealed. "If… and I am saying if… we ever get to that point in our lives, which I am hoping we will, I will ask you for real, Cas. I want you to know that." Dean placed his hand gently on Castiel's thigh and smiled.

Castiel's heart swelled in his chest. He turned to Dean and did the only thing he could at that moment. He kissed him. Sweetly and softly until they were both out of breathe.

Sam sat on his bed and slid his socked feet on the carpet creating static. It was weird not having Dean's stuff in the room. The extra twin mattress was given away and now only his twin bed remained in the room. Dean had moved all of his things out before he went to California, but it was still a weird sensation that Dean wasn't living in the same vicinity as him. Sam liked the freedom of his own room, but he also found it lonely when he was lying awake at night and had no one to talk to.

He had turned to talking to Gabriel a lot. He touched his lips, remembering the moment he sat in Gabriel's kitchen and was kissed for the first time. He pulled out his phone and sent Gabriel a quick text. It was late, but that's usually when their conversations happened. Late at night when neither one of them had anything else to do.

After waiting nearly thirty minutes with no reply from Gabriel, Sam shut his phone off and curled into bed. School was the next day and he dreaded it. His parents had grounded him for getting into a fight at school. "Stupid guy deserved it." Sam grumbled, punching his pillow to fluff it up. He closed his eyes and dreamed of better days, days where his brother was at home, where his parents didn't fight, and days where he knew what the feelings he was experiencing for Gabriel were.

The next day Sam cautiously made his way into his school. High school was a bitch. He didn't really have many friends. There was a girl who was adamant about being his friend. Her name was Ruby, and Sam knew her from middle school, but she gave him a weird vibe, so he stayed away most of the time, but she was someone he could sit at lunch with.

"Hey, Sammy!" The shrill voice called out to him. He cringed and tried to hide behind his locker door, but the girl found him.

"Hey, Ruby." Sam responded. She latched her arms around him and clung to him as he tried to get his books out of his locker. "Uh, I have class soon." The bell rang, signaling the class change, Sam grabbed what books he could and shut his locker.

Ruby let go and pouted. "You're no fun, Sam." They walked together down the hall until Ruby had to walk another way to get to her class. Sam waved goodbye, calling out to her and saying that he would see her later. He continued down the hall towards his history class and was stopped by the person he always managed to run into.

"Saw Ruby was with you. Funny. I thought you were a faggot like your brother." Azazel smirked, pushing Sam towards the lockers. He fisted the fabric of Sam's sweatshirt and shoved him roughly. "Got a nice shiner because of you." He growled.

Sam couldn't help but chuckle. Azazel's face was bruised from their brawl a couple days before. He was shoved back again, this time with a little more force that hit the back of this head onto the cold metal of the lockers. "Just leave me alone, man." Sam spit. He stared down Azazel, not backing away from the fight. He would just say he fought back in self-defense. The school had to have cameras or something. They would see that Azazel started the pursuit.

"I bet you like being manhandled." Azazel gave Sam one last shove before letting go of him.

Sam fixed his sweatshirt and huffed. "At least I'm comfortable enough with my sexuality." He mumbled, mocking Azazel. Bad move. Azazel stopped dead in his tracks and turned out, fist ready to hit Sam. Sam ducked, running to his class. He was already late, but getting a tardy slip was better than a black eye and another scolding from his parents.

Later that day Sam stood outside the school in the parking lot. Gabriel had been giving him rides home so that he didn't have to walk all the way back or ride the dreadful bus. Sam waited and waited, but Gabriel never showed up. When he tried to call the older boy there was no answer. The buses had already left as well, so Sam was stuck walking back to his home. The air was colder than usual as October approached. He huddled into his sweatshirt and began his trek back. "I can't wait until I get my license." Sam mumbled to himself, pulling his hood over his head to shield himself from the wind. He only had two more years. For fourteen years old, Sam was tall. Many people mistook him for years older than he actually was. He found that to his advantage when hanging around with Gabriel. It was strange for him to be hanging around with someone five years older than himself, but he didn't care. He hoped Gabriel didn't mind either.

Speaking of Gabriel, Sam's phone started to ring in his pocket. He quickly answered it with a happy tone. "Hey Gabe! I just walked home. I figured you were busy." _Too busy to answer my text last night too. _Sam thought to himself.

_"Yeah sorry about that. I've been, erm, well I need to talk to you about something, Sam."_

"Yeah, anything." Sam answered, unsure of what Gabriel wanted to talk about. "Want me to come over?" Sam stopped his walk home and turned towards the direction Gabriel's home was. It was a good thirty-minute walk, if he went fast, to get there and he was already almost home.

_"No, don't do that. That's actually what we need to talk about. I don't think we should hang out anymore." _The guilt in Gabriel's voice was dripping through the speaker of Sam's phone.

"What? Why?" Sam started to panic. Gabriel was his friend, his only really good friend. "Is this because we…" Sam hushed his tone. "…because we kissed?"

_"No. I mean yeah. We can't do that anymore."_

Sam was disappointed because he felt such real emotions towards Gabriel, but he knew that the conversation would arise sooner or later. The age difference was just too much for the both of them. "Okay. Pretend it never happened then." He said shortly, hanging up. Gabriel tried calling him again and again after that, but he ignored the calls much like Gabriel had done to him. His feet carried him back towards his house and he didn't stop until he heard a car honking behind him. He turned around, his cheeks wet from the tears that made their way down his face while he wasn't paying attention.

A large truck, compensating for something the driver lacked, came barreled down the road. Sam groaned and wiped his face with the sleeves of his sweatshirt. The truck's horn blared again. As it was coming towards him he realized that it was the same jerk from school, Azazel, who was driving. The truck swerved over, onto the berm of the road that Sam was walking on. Sam's eyes widened when he realized that the truck was coming at him. He jumped into the ditch, hearing a sickening crack when he braced himself in his fall.

"Don't mess around with me, fag lover!" Azazel shouted from his open window as he drove down the road, disappearing in the distance. Sam sat up, mud on his jeans and sweatshirt, he clutched his hurt wrist to his chest and knew something was really wrong when he couldn't move his fingers. He pulled himself from the ditch. He was only ten minutes from home. He shakily pulled his phone out and called his house. When no one answered he sighed and called Gabriel.

_ "I see you couldn't ignore my calls forever."_ Gabriel said a little too proud of himself. _"I really do want to talk though, just somewhere like the park or something. I can't keep bringing you to my hou-"_

"Gabriel, can you-uh- take me to the hospital?" Sam asked nervously, cutting off Gabriel's speech.


	11. Back in Action

"Hey, Dean?" Castiel mumbled, playing with the small hair in the middle of Dean's chest. He snuggled his naked body closer to Dean's and rested his chin on Dean's shoulder. It was nearing noon and Dean didn't have to work that day and Castiel didn't have class for another hour.

"Hmmmm, yeah?" Dean placed a hand on the bare skin of Castiel's arm and smiled. "What is it, babe?" His green eyes traveled down Castiel's body and his tongue ran over his bottom lip.

"There's a beach party this weekend, on Saturday." Dean's face lit up. He loved parties. "I was invited and well, I want you to come with me." Castiel nuzzled his face into Dean's body. "If you want to go that is."

"I'd love to. I can pick you up after work then. I was late this morning so I picked up another shift to make up for it." Dean moved, sitting up and rubbing his neck. He yawned, popping his jaw in the process. "But yeah, we can go. Are you okay with the ocean?"

"We will be staying on the beach." Castiel said quickly, shivering at the thought of the water. "No where near the water." He grumbled and wrapped his arms around Dean's waist, pulling him back down to the mattress. Once Dean was on his back, Castiel climbed over top of him and straddled his waist. With both of their bodies, naked they became easily aroused when skin touched skin.

"Cas, you have to get to class." Dean moaned, kissing Castiel's neck. He pulled back, pushing Castiel back away from his body. "You pay all this money for this school, get ready for class. I'll drive you to campus." Dean chuckled. He sat up, pulling Castiel with him. His hands fell down to Castiel's hips.

"I still have an hour until class." Castiel mumbled, rolling off of Dean's lap. "But your right. It does take a while to get back to campus from here." As Castiel stood up from the mattress on the ground he felt a pinch on his butt and yelped. He turned around quickly, his face bright red and eyes glaring at the pincher.

Dean smirked. "Couldn't resist." He rolled off his bed and got to his feet in seconds. He pulled on a pair of sweats and Castiel couldn't stop staring. Dean had the perfect combination of muscles and soft pudge from the large amounts of food he ate. The night before when they had their dinner Castiel was amazed at the amount of food Dean could pack away. Dean insisted on paying for it, but Castiel wouldn't let him. Dean paid for most things and that hurt Castiel's pride. So the next few adventures, Castiel promised himself he wouldn't let Dean pay.

"Stop staring and get dressed or I'll take you right here and now." Dean said in a dangerously sexy voice.

"What if I don't?" Castiel asked, challenging Dean. When Dean launched himself forward, towards his lover, Castiel yelped and jumped out of the way, grabbing his shorts and pulling them up his legs quickly. "Dressed." Castiel smirked, but Dean already beat him to the next teasing moment. In his hands he held Castiel boxer briefs, swinging them with one finger. "Okay, not fully dressed, but at least I am covered." Castiel said, defeated.

"I'll just keep these." Dean said, throwing the article of clothing to his bed.

"I will get them back eventually." Castiel murmured. He pulled his shirt over his head. "Do you know where my wallet is?" He patted his pockets before twisting around, looking around the room. He spotted his leather wallet on the Dean's countertop, next to Dean's phone and wallet. When he grabbed his wallet he noticed Dean's phone light up with a missed call.

"What is it, Cas?" Dean saw his phone in Castiel's hand.

"You missed a call from home." Castiel tossed Dean's already semi-broken phone over to him and pocketed his wallet. He watched Dean hold his phone up to his ear. He pulled it away after listening to the voicemail that was left when he missed the call. "Your mom?"

"Yeah." Dean quickly redialed his home number and waited for the call to go through. Castiel watched as Dean sat back down on his bed, listening intently to the speaker on his phone. "Hey mom. So what happened? Is Sam okay?" Castiel sat down next to Dean. He gave Dean a confused look, wanting to know what was going on with Sam, but Dean just listened to the phone. "Okay, I'll call later. Yeah. Love you. Bye."

"Is Sam okay?"

"Yeah, uh. Gabriel took him to the hospital after school. They said he broke his wrist or something." Dean leaned forward and rubbed his face. "My mom didn't really say anything else. I swear if it was my dad who-"

"You did say that your dad was… abusive."

"Yeah he can be a real dick sometimes, but he never went that far. Usually just verbally or a smack here or there when he was drunk…" Dean trailed off. He sat straight and looked at Castiel, a question forming. "What I want to know is why Gabriel took him to the hospital? Doesn't he go to the community college just out of town? Why would he be by Sam's school?"

"Uh," Castiel became nervous that he knew something that Dean didn't. "You know, they hang out sometimes." Castiel scratched his head, ruffling his hair. "We should get going, I have class soon." It was a lie. Most of that hour he had to kill was still there. They didn't have to leave for another fifteen minutes for Castiel to get to his class on time.

"Since when did Gabriel ever hang out with my brother? That's weird." Dean stood up and grabbed his shirt that he discarded on the floor. He looked around his apartment and grimaced. It had gotten dirty over the past week and still lacked furniture. The strangeness of his brother hanging out with Gabriel who was five years his elder was pushed to the back of his mind. He needed to focus on his relationship with Castiel. It was hitting a bumpy patch that needed to be smoothed out.

"I-I don't know. It is somewhat strange." Castiel mumbled, gathering the rest of his things before they left the small apartment to get back on campus so Castiel could grab his books and such. The conversation about Sam and Gabriel stopped from that point onward. Castiel was glad for that. He didn't want to be the one to spill the news about Gabriel and Sam having a thing. If they even had a thing.

"Hey, what's going through your head, Cas?" Dean asked, turning down the street he was going to drop Castiel off at. "You're really silent lately." Castiel had turned back to his original self, like the days before he met Dean.

"I am?"

"Yeah, what's on your mind."

"Just thinking about the beach party this weekend." Castiel lied. He couldn't put a finger on why things were so awkward between Dean and him. They had cleared up the whole marriage business, which made Castiel feel a little better, but something was still blocking them from moving on to bigger better things. He grabbed his things and stepped out of the car. "See you later?" He peered inside.

"Yeah, I can come by around six." Dean waved goodbye to Castiel as he drove off back to his own apartment. Castiel watched the car disappear down the hill. As Castiel thought of all, if any, reasons as to why everything was so messed up, he only came to one viable conclusion.

Maybe Dean didn't like living in San Francisco.

Did he want to go home?

"Am I enough to keep him here?" Castiel's heart dropped in his chest. He turned back towards the road. He knew the Impala was long gone, but there was still a hope in his heart that Dean would be parked right there near the curb. "We've only been dating for…" His fears intensified when he realized that their relationship was a whirlwind and he even left for the most part of those months "together."

**Sorry it's so short, I will have more later that is a lot better than this.**


End file.
